Some articles just write themselves. This isn’t one of them, because I’m sitting at a keyboard composing the piece, but it is very easy.
Yesterday at a rally, Trump apparently decided that his attention meter was running too low because of other news events, and he decided to shower some praise upon a political rival. Or perhaps “shower” isn’t a good term to use, because the phrasing Donald uses might mean they want to shower together.
I challenge you to get that image out of your head when you learn it wasn’t Theresa May or even Angela Merkel, but rather Kim Jong Un that is now the apple of Trump’s eye.
Many of us expected him to toss Melania once she got old enough. There was the prenup, after all, and this is string-of-exes, pussy-grabbing, sleeping-around-on-her-while-pregnant Donnie. But I don’t know of anyone who saw the Trump/Kim ship sailing (although slash fiction is certainly being written RIGHT NOW.)
So, what did Trump say? Let’s see:
“I was really being tough – and so was he. And we would go back and forth,” Trump told a rally in West Virginia.
“And then we fell in love, okay? No, really – he wrote me beautiful letters, and they’re great letters,” he said.
So, now we know that his supporters don’t really hate gay men, so long as they have tiny enough fingers to be unthreatening. Take that, MSNBC!
It does trigger so many questions, though. What presents will they exchange? Where will they go on dates? What are their favorite cuddling techniques? Who cheats on whom first? Will Kim murder his wife and take Donny instead? Will they try to force Jim Bakker to make their wedding cake? What will the sitcom, Trump Loves Kim, be like? If they use cloning techniques to have a child, will it be Don JongSon and star in Pyongyang Vice?
Perhaps I’m going a bit overboard… but perhaps not. Tell me what you think in the comments below.