Political Humor – Reviewing The Week

The last week has provided a series of fairly momentous news stories.  Unfortunately, amidst the memorials to George H.W. Bush, the revelations in the corruption investigations, the French riots… some things have been missed.  So, here are some quick (and not fully accurate) takes on some other items that happened, complete with (fully accurate) links to the related stories.

Sunday, 12/2: The Kennedy Center Honors were held, with the President and Melania Trump skipping the event.  Minimalist composer Philip Glass was among the honorees.  He walked to the podium to give his acceptance speech, “Thank,” then returned to his seat. (Hollywood Reporter)

Israeli police recommended charges against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for the third time this year, concluding that both he and his wife had taken extensive bribes from media mogul Shaul Elovitch.  Netanyahu, once one of the most respected leaders in the Western world, claimed it was a witch hunt, then followed by explaining that the only way to get the U.S. Embassy moved was to approach President Trump as an equal.  (Haaretz)

Monday, 12/3: NASA’s OSIRIS-REx spacecraft arrived at the asteroid Bennu.  After verifying that Bennu was not, in fact, the long-delayed SMOD, the spacecraft sighed sadly and began preparations for a return to Earth.  (EarthSky

Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer arranged a Tuesday meeting with President Trump to inform him that, because of the massive corruption scandal surrounding his administration, he is still welcome to go back to being a Democrat. (Roll Call)

Tuesday, 12/4: The Guinness Book of World Records announced that Kingda Ka in New Jersey was no longer the largest roller coaster in the world, conferring the honor instead to the U.S. Stock Market.  (CNN)

House Republicans announced that they had been the victim of a cyberattack during the 2018 elections.  Specifically, they said they had fallen prey to “Search engines allowing citizens to research Trump’s statements.”  (NPR)

Wednesday, 12/5: Carbon dioxide emissions were reported to have spiked again in the prior year, raising concerns among some scientists who are trying to stem the naturally occurring chemical.  China, the primary generator of carbon dioxide, responded by declaring “honey badger day”.  (Science Daily)

United States Gymnastics filed for bankruptcy in an attempt to equate its fiscal status with its moral one.  (Fox News)

Thursday, 12/6: Derrick Henry of the Tennessee Titans ran 99 yards for a touchdown against the Jacksonville Jaguars.  President Trump announced his nomination for a cabinet position, tweeting that he desperately needed someone who couldn’t be caught for a change.  (ESPN)

Kevin Hart stepped down as the host of the Oscars, apologizing to the LGBTQ community in a tweet for some homophobic jokes he had previously made.  He limited his apology to LGBTQ because Twitter character limits kept him from including all of the other initials people have claimed in a desperate effort to get attention.  Looks like I’ll never be able to host the Oscars. (Hollywood Reporter)

Friday, 12/7: Angela Merkel stepped down as the leader of her CDU party, passing the baton to a politically moderate woman who is seen by most as Merkel’s preferred successor, Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer (AKK).  International political consultant Steve Bannon had recommended against Merkel supporting AKK, saying he felt uncomfortable with “that first initial”. (NBC)

The Grammys announced their 2019 nominees, which were immediately put under the microscope for their diversity while classic rockers were studiously ignored.  Rumor has it that Axl Rose, in an effort to get easy critical praise, may soon announce himself as genderqueer and start billing himself as Transaxl.  (Grammys)

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About AlienMotives 1442 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.