There are many things which shouldn’t exist. The BBC, at least, agrees with me that Dalek porn is one of them.
Daleks, for those unfamiliar with the term, are the semi-robotic murderous Doctor Who villains shaped like giant metallic waffle cones on wheels. Their favorite word is “exterminate”, their favorite target is anything living, and they murder people, in part, by changing the film color to a photonegative and back again. (Doctor Who’s special effects budget was fairly low, back in the old days.)
The famous “Rule 34” of the “Rules of the Internet” states, “If it exists, there is porn of it.” Typically, this is meant to mean that somewhere, some young teen has drawn crude images and posted it online, or some wag has written a bit of obscene fan fiction.
However, there’s money to be made in fandom, and money is a strong attractor. In 2005, this was proven with the 1000-copy limited edition DVD featuring three lesbians and a pair of Daleks in “Abducted by the Daleks“.
The estate of Terry Nation, who created both Doctor Who and the Daleks, was not pleased, and issued a statement to the UK tabloid The Sun. “The reason the Daleks are still the most sinister thing in the universe is because they do not make things like porn. They weren’t ever intended to be sexual creatures. It’s simple, Daleks do not do porn.”
The BBC agreed, and threatened a lawsuit if sales of the DVD were not immediately stopped. The film’s producers complied, freezing sales of the DVD.
For a few days. At which point “Abducted by the Daloids” was released with new cover artwork. The subsequent lawsuit by the BBC ended those sales, too.
There are clean clips from this monstrosity available on Youtube and other free sites, but… no. I refuse to subject anyone to them. I suspect you understand.
Question of the night: Who was your favorite fictional Doctor?
