With the announcement of President Trump’s anticipated tell-all memoir, we at TNB decided to take a harder look at that book, and others, which will be released by members of the President’s staff and inner circle. To do this, we went down to the Southern border and polled some Central American writers who were being held in detention centers, as they, being desperate and willing to work for low wages while they got their feet on the ground (or being easily threatened with loss of green card and deportation) were likely to be the cheapest ghost writers Administration members could find.
I’d like to present you with some of the books to watch for.
My Time As a Goldwater Girl: The Absolute Truth As Only I Can Tell It by Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Murica Unbound: Why You Going Vote For Me by Donald Trump Jr.
The Spokeswoman of Dorian Gray by Kellyanne Conway
I Still Have More To Tell by Michael Cohen
How To Sell Your Soul And Keep Great Hair by Rick Perry
How To Sell Your Soul And Morph Into An Unkempt Orson Welles by Ted Cruz
Please Pretend I’m Not Related To These People: A Plea by Tiffany Trump
I Haven’t Changed, You Have, You Socialist Debt-Hating Dirtbags by Glenn Beck (introduction by Steve Deace)
Report To Foreign Intelligence Service #562A by Melania Trump (private publisher)
Threats, Politics and Payoffs: How To Avoid Dying In Prison by Paul Manafort
Random House, the publisher of Art of the Deal, has bought the rights to Robert Mueller’s career retrospective but is refusing to release it.
President Trump’s memoir has a few possible titles. The most popular are:
Always In Charge (except during the Trump Tower meeting, about which I knew nothing!)
My Life With Big Fingers
TNN: Introducing the Trump News Network!
Shooting Foreign Policy On Fifth Avenue
1200 Rounds Of Golf And No Balls In The Rough : My Presidency
