Political Humor – Unredacted

Attorney General William Barr. Photo by The United States Department of Justice

With the release of the redacted Mueller Report, we have seen that Barr, in his initial summary, was deceptive in his interpretation of the Mueller Report. We’ve also seen that his redactions were not as draconian as some expected; for example, he left public many points that demonstrated seeming duplicity in his summary.

What we’re left with is a report with many blank spots, and the person who is responsible for informing us about the general notions behind those blank spots has been demonstrated to be dishonest.

In this instance, it seems only right to fill in the blank spots ourselves. After all, whatever we come up with is as likely to be accurate as Barr’s explanations.

So, grab your copy of the Mueller Report, get your sparkly gold or silver pen, and let’s start writing over those black stripes to create the Barr / Mueller / (your name) Truth Reports!

Examples, from the B/M/AM Truth Report:

Volume I, page 4: The IRA was based in St. Petersburg, Russia, and received funding from Russian oligarch Yevgeniy Prigozhin and companies he controlled. Prigozhin is widely reported to have ties to Russian President Vladimir Putin [because of their years spent dubbing and commenting on “piss tapes” of foreign businessmen in a makeshift MST3K / Rifftrax style.]

In mid-2014, the IRA sent employees to the United States on an intelligence-gathering mission with instructions [to tally, for internal betting purposes, the number of high-level Republican politicians who debased themselves for Maria Butina.]

Volume II, page 18: And [while selling Trump nude pictures of Ivanka] Manafort said that shortly after Wikileaks’s July 22, 2016 release of hacked documents he spoke to Trump [who complimented him on the clarity of images and began comparing his daughter favorably to a racehorse.] Manafort recalled that Trump responded that Manafort should [think “about high-def and] keep Trump updated.”

Volume I, page 23: [In December 2015, the Trump campaign was sent a message through as-yet-unidentified Russian operative “Lemania Rumpt” warning that, if somehow Donald was elected, the obvious corruption of Jeff Sessions might not be enough to overcome what tiny fragments of decency remain in the pit of his soul. They suggested that someone less scrupulous and more malleable, like Mark Levin or Mike Huckabee, be considered for Attorney General.]

[The Trump campaign tendered their appreciation for the suggestion and again made attempts to glean actionable information from Russian operatives. At one point, Prigozhin himself responded in an e-mail dated January 11, 2016 that the campaign was “too incompetent to handle this” and suggested they “repay Putin with subservience at summits, if elected.” Donald Trump responded by posting shirtless Putin pictures throughout Trump Tower offices.]

By February 2016, internal IRA documents referred to support for the Trump Campaign and opposition to candidate Clinton. For example, [“We (heart) Trump” was spelled with the bodies of dead Ukranian reporters.] “Main idea: Use any idea to criticize Hillary (Clinton) and the rest (except Sanders and Trump : we support them.)”


The Report is there, with redactions both large and small. Make your mark on history today!

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About AlienMotives 1991 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.