Political Humor : Blurbs

Donald J. Trump at CPAC 2017. Photo by Michael Vadon

Blurbs are small quotes provided by people, typically famous people, about a book, movie or album which are designed to be used to sell copies of the item. They are culled from reviews and favorable statements about the creators and usually decorate the jacket or packaging of the item being blurbed.

We have received a preliminary sheet of jacket blurbs for the President’s newest book, The Art of the History, written by Donald J. Trump (with Jerome Corsi and Alex Jones). We at TNB thought we’d give you some samples, to whet your appetite for the upcoming release.

“The most brilliant piece of brilliance we’ve ever seen. It’s a shame that the President will be forced to kill anyone who hasn’t read it.” – Fox News host Tucker Carlson

“The part where Stalin founds the League of Nations and allows Flip Wilson to take credit for it underscores why I have such deep respect for the traditional Soviet system.” – Senator Bernie Sanders

“I feel love in the tips of my fingers and they’re waving a beam of joylight to eradicate the darkness in the soul of the deepest ocean. And we had no Sherman tanks during the Revolutionary War, that’s just stupid.” – Bestselling author Marianne Williamson

“My father is not Bernie Sanders. Please have your legal team correct that allegation. ” – former Vice President Joe Biden

“My father may be Bernie Sanders. It’s hard to say, really.” – former White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders

“Young. Fresh. Vibrant.” – Clinton Foundation co-founder Jeffrey Epstein

“I loved it.” – Senator Ted Cruz. (Accompanied by a tear-stained letter asking to have at least part of his spine back.)

“The part where hundreds of Donald Trump’s friends died in the Twin Towers attack and Muslims started dancing in the streets was riveting. It was almost like I was there.” – Mayor Rudy Giuliani

“Good boy. Have cookie.” – Russian President Vladimir Putin

“The pages were better than a mylar blanket, and I used the cover as a shield to keep the other kids from beating me up.” – Jose Garcia, age 4

“F*** you all.” – U.S. Representative Justin Amash

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About AlienMotives 1062 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.