Audience chanting was in the spotlight this week as attendees to a Trump rally took up the call of “Send Her Back”, referring to expatriating a U.S. Representative to the country of her birth. There were criticisms of the chant from some venues, praises of the chant from other venues, and simultaneous praise and criticism from the President of the United States.
Even many who believe that Trump plays multi-dimensional chess started to wonder if perhaps he calls some of those pieces “horsies.”
In reality, Trump’s intellect was on full display during the rally. I’m not talking about his word salad, the constant forward lean against the podium (making him look as though he’d found out that Melania had just given birth again and someone had said the podium was female) or his inability to differentiate between numbers like two and ten thousand when counting attendees. I refer, instead, to the chants not used.
“Send Her Back” wasn’t the worst option available; far from it. Here are some examples of what was almost used instead:
“Send More Crack!” – Too revealing of the reasons so many pundits and pastors climbed aboard the Trump train.
“Send Her On A Short Exploratory Trip To The Country Of Her Birth So She Can Make Insightful Comparisons!” – Too dang long, lacked “punch”.
“Spank Us With A Rolled-Up Magazine!” – Admittedly, this one nearly made the cut.
“Shave Her Back!” – Just wildly inappropriate.
“Send Her Shari’s Berries!” – Judged to be a little too obvious of a payoff to the radio talkers who keep the Trump phenomenon alive.
“Senator Hack!” – Lacks specificity, could be describing any Senator. Worse, might leave many in the audience convinced Trump was only a Senator.
“Spend Our Jack!” – Too honest, judged that many in the fifty-and-older Caucasian audience might not know the slang term for people’s cash.
“Feel The Burn!” – Not done with the theft of Reagan’s line, didn’t want to move yet on stealing Sanders’s.
“Stone F*cks Rats!” – Again, too honest, especially after the warm-up videos shown to the crowd. Also, believed to be wrong time to remind people of the corruption prosecutions.
“Send Her To Epstein’s Mansion” – Twenty-five years too old.
Trump’s moment of clarity in choosing the “Send Her Back” chant was, unfortunately, overridden by his decisions to blow up the cars in the parking lot to demonstrate his military leadership and his effort to show how anti-abortion he is now by having on-stage sex with a cardboard cutout of Cecile Richards (the new Leana Wen cutout hadn’t arrived). Nevertheless, supporters clustered by the hundreds at a nearby bus stop spoke glowingly of how enthused they were to vote for the “most American President ever.”