Few are aware of just how deep our connections reach throughout the political world. We work hard to present all the information we receive, but we’re often overwhelmed with insider knowledge and, facing a lack of time, the group which writes for TNB does not get to present all of the details to which we are privy. Here, then, are some pieces of information which may serve to add depth to the stories that have dominated the news cycle this week:
Beto privately defines “AR-15” as “all land owned by Mexican-Americans”.
What first drew attention to Jerry Falwell, Jr.’s club-hopping were his drunken demands that the dj play “It’s Raining Men” three times in a row.
The last straw for Bolton was being asked to shave his moustache for a private re-enactment of the Giuliani/Trump drag video.
Trump refers to his sperm as his “moral compass”.
Bernie Sanders and his friend Waldorf asked to sit in the balcony during the debate and heckle the other candidates.
The President has promised to tell the CIA mole that there are no hard feelings and he can still apply for a marriage license at the nearest Russian embassy.
Boris Johnson’s plan for a no-deal Brexit now involves using a sharpie to write “but Boris can do whatever he wants” onto the new Parliament restrictions.
Bolton changed the Secret Service codename for Trump to “Weeble” before he left.
The latest wave of Russian ads pits hipsters and audiophiles against fans of geriatric politicians in the great record player debate.
The Vice President’s campaign staffers have been paying $84,000/month to reserve a place for Pence’s nose inside the rectum of the President.
Julian Castro’s attack on Biden’s memory was triggered when he discovered that Biden, Warren and Bernie had all forgotten that he was running against them.