Political Humor: Facebook Guide To Voting

President Barack Obama, with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, holds a town hall meeting at Facebook headquarters. White House Photo by Lawrence Jackson.

How should you vote in this year’s primary? Take this fun quiz to find out!

  1. Who is your favorite Beauty and the Beast character? a) the boastful Gaston; b) the gay LeFou; c) the bookish Beauty; d) the charismatic but elderly Beast; e) the dubiously competent Maurice; f) the matronly Mrs. Potts
  2. How important is foreign policy to you? a) important because other countries need to recognize how strong America is; b) I like gay people; c) mildly important; d) not nearly as important as health care; e) it’s good to have a leader who knows other foreign leaders; f) a President should believe herself to be a little bit foreign already
  3. What is your idea of a perfect date? a) one of the world’s wealthiest, most successful businessmen; b) a young gay man; c) a nondescript woman; d) a curiously apelike figure who bedazzles audiences; e) a man who will sniff you; f) an aged schoolteacher who yells at you
  4. What do you think of the economy? a) I trust people who’ve made billions to know what they’re doing, long-term; b) being mayor of a small town in the middle of nowhere is enough experience, if they were a good mayor; c) math is hard; d) there are too many wealthy people who are stealing all the money of average folk; e) if a person was VP under a successful President they can probably mimic their economic success; f) it’s all someone else’s fault that I’m not rich
  5. Would you vote for someone whose name you can’t spell? a) no; b) sure, c) also sure; d) only if they had the same name as a football star; e) as long as they didn’t stop me from going into a Dunkin’ Donuts; f) spelling isn’t as important as banking
  6. What is your favorite color? a) orange; b) rainbow; c) gray; d) white; e) blue; f) indian red
  7. Are you okay with having your guns seized by government officials? a) yes, but only after a school shooting and if I am allowed to be evaluated for my competency to possibly get them back; b) yes, but only if I’m not in the military; c) yes, but first we need to focus on making them harder to buy; d) not mine, but absolutely everyone else’s; e) yes, but only after a short registration period; f) immediately, take them.
  8. What is your preferred news source? a) Rush Limbaugh; b) The Los Angeles Times; c) The New York Times; d) Occupy Democrats; e) The Washington Post; f) Mother Jones
  9. How important is honesty to you? a) all politicians lie all the time; b) very; c) it’s a fundamental connection between politicians and constituents; d) rich people can’t be trusted; e) somewhat important; f) define “honesty”
  10. My favorite internet cat is: a) AmeriCat; b) Jupiter the talking cat; c) Li’l Bub; d) Grumpy Cat; e) Maru; f) Lolcats

Answers:

If you chose a) the majority of the time, you should vote for Donald Trump. If you chose anything else, you should vote for Bernie Sanders. I hope you enjoyed our fun quiz, comrade!

About the opinions in this article…

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About AlienMotives 1576 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.