How should you vote in this year’s primary? Take this fun quiz to find out!
- Who is your favorite Beauty and the Beast character? a) the boastful Gaston; b) the gay LeFou; c) the bookish Beauty; d) the charismatic but elderly Beast; e) the dubiously competent Maurice; f) the matronly Mrs. Potts
- How important is foreign policy to you? a) important because other countries need to recognize how strong America is; b) I like gay people; c) mildly important; d) not nearly as important as health care; e) it’s good to have a leader who knows other foreign leaders; f) a President should believe herself to be a little bit foreign already
- What is your idea of a perfect date? a) one of the world’s wealthiest, most successful businessmen; b) a young gay man; c) a nondescript woman; d) a curiously apelike figure who bedazzles audiences; e) a man who will sniff you; f) an aged schoolteacher who yells at you
- What do you think of the economy? a) I trust people who’ve made billions to know what they’re doing, long-term; b) being mayor of a small town in the middle of nowhere is enough experience, if they were a good mayor; c) math is hard; d) there are too many wealthy people who are stealing all the money of average folk; e) if a person was VP under a successful President they can probably mimic their economic success; f) it’s all someone else’s fault that I’m not rich
- Would you vote for someone whose name you can’t spell? a) no; b) sure, c) also sure; d) only if they had the same name as a football star; e) as long as they didn’t stop me from going into a Dunkin’ Donuts; f) spelling isn’t as important as banking
- What is your favorite color? a) orange; b) rainbow; c) gray; d) white; e) blue; f) indian red
- Are you okay with having your guns seized by government officials? a) yes, but only after a school shooting and if I am allowed to be evaluated for my competency to possibly get them back; b) yes, but only if I’m not in the military; c) yes, but first we need to focus on making them harder to buy; d) not mine, but absolutely everyone else’s; e) yes, but only after a short registration period; f) immediately, take them.
- What is your preferred news source? a) Rush Limbaugh; b) The Los Angeles Times; c) The New York Times; d) Occupy Democrats; e) The Washington Post; f) Mother Jones
- How important is honesty to you? a) all politicians lie all the time; b) very; c) it’s a fundamental connection between politicians and constituents; d) rich people can’t be trusted; e) somewhat important; f) define “honesty”
- My favorite internet cat is: a) AmeriCat; b) Jupiter the talking cat; c) Li’l Bub; d) Grumpy Cat; e) Maru; f) Lolcats
If you chose a) the majority of the time, you should vote for Donald Trump. If you chose anything else, you should vote for Bernie Sanders. I hope you enjoyed our fun quiz, comrade!