TNB Night Owl – Global Shopping

This feels like it should be a PSA: “Don’t Neglect What Will Happen To Your Ads”. For that reason (and because I love Lenny’s Owl image) I’m using the public service announcement owl… but, really, this isn’t the usual compilation of very strange or stupid behaviors I like to use in my PSAs. It’s more akin to Steve’s tale of accidentally pepper spraying himself. What’s more, as I let my wife’s experiences serve as a warning to all, I get to add to the Owl’s long list of questionable choices of product development.

My daughter enjoys ramune. It’s a Japanese soda designed with a small compartment at the top of the bottle’s neck. Inside that compartment is a glass marble Pressure keeps the marble firmly against the top of the mouth of the bottle; a person uses a small plastic cap to push the marble down, letting the pressure normalize. At that point, the liquid can flow past the marble, allowing the soda to be consumed. The design keeps too much liquid from flowing out at once, keeping people from gulping down the drink and minimizing leakage if an open bottle is accidentally tipped.

There are a variety of flavors of this drink, mostly meant to taste like various fruits. They’re somewhat expensive but not prohibitively so, and if the daughter wants to spend some of the money she’s earned on them as a treat we’re not going to stand in her way. Instead, we’re going to order some for her.

This is where mistakes were made. Not by us, but by marketing software.

Apparently purchasing the ramune, after purchasing things like curry mixes and udon noodles, flagged my wife as a prime candidate for Sugoi Mart… and, as did a handful of others, she was thus informed of her chance to get one of their showcased products this month.

For the curious, one can of whale-flavored horse meat will run you $18, before shipping. I have officially rejected that meal option (at least until they get the price point down to $10/can.)

A little hunting around found some other items which would likely not last long on American shelves. Examples include the slush-style drink Pocari Sweat Ice Slurry (mixing the dubious choices of calling a foodstuff a “slurry” and naming a drink after a body fluid); UFO Spicy Sesame Oil and Mayo Yakisoba (a packaged noodle bowl mixing sesame oil and dehydrated mayonnaise – naming it after an alien craft seems appropriate); and while the Nestle branded Kit Kat bars are a staple on American candy aisles, it’s hard to imagine that Sweet Potato Kit Kats would be worth any display space in Wal-Mart.

To their credit, Sugio Mart realizes just how bad the year has been. They also offer a very popular option, the 2020 Survival Kit – a basket full of a variety of foods so that people can at least be distracted from what’s happening this year.

Not a bad idea at all – as long as there’s no horsemeat included.

Question of the night: Are there any foods you enjoy which are hard to find locally?

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About AlienMotives 1991 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.