I love a nice steak as much as the next person. Well marbled, juicy, expertly cooked piece of nutritious goodness on the plate. That’s not to say that there are times where I adore a good Sonic burger and tots. It’s not the healthiest, not the tastiest, but dang, it does taste good and serves its purpose. BLUE MONKEY (aka INSECT) (1987) is a Sonic burger of a movie. It’s fun! It’s entertaining! But best not to think too deeply about it or else you might realize what it’s made of.
Our movie starts out with a little old lady tottering around in her greenhouse. Her elderly handyman is there with her when she shows him her new acquisition–a strange plant recently discovered off a newly formed volcanic island off the coast of Micronesia. Now, I can imagine you’ve already got questions in mind. This is the time to warn you–STOP. Don’t ask questions. Don’t ask for explanations. Don’t look for ways this could possibly work in a real world situation. There aren’t answers. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can get around to enjoying the flick.
Back to the movie. Something from this mysterious plant pricks the old man (even though it doesn’t have thorns). He’s okay for a few seconds, then he falls to the ground unconscious. Once rushed to the hospital he vomits up a larvae. They catch it and bring it back to the experimental lab (which just happens to be on the same floor as the pediatric cancer unit and birthing rooms). Their attempts to dissect it result in it shooting an electrical pulse. They did what any good scientists/doctors would do in the situation: cover it with a bell jar with an opening at the top and leave to go do other things. While out an about the pediatric cancer patients come sneak into the lab looking for snacks. They see the larvae and decides it needs a snack. One kid grabs a random bottle off the shelves and starts pouring it into the bell jar. Another kid wants a turn, a scuffle ensures, and a ton of weird blue powder gets poured onto the larvae. The kids panic and run out. Turns out that blue powder was growth hormone. Soon the larvae is a nine foot tall roach hellbent on eating everyone. The CDC-equivalent learns that something strange is afoot in the hospital. Their reaction? Detonate the hospital and everyone in it. Can the doctors and patients kill off the giant bug before they blow up?
Suspended disbelief is where you’re willing to accept some failures of logic in order to lose yourself into a story. If you want to make it through BLUE MONKEY then you really have to flex those disbelief muscles. You could spend the entire movie asking “But what about–“. My advice is “don’t.” It’s a fun movie. A lot of fun. The pace is nonstop. The giant bug looks cool. There are worse ways to spend an hour and a half. Heck, I’ve profiled worse ways to spend an hour and a half. Grab a snack, pour a beverage, and enjoy.
Question of the night: what’s the most unbelievable thing you’ve ever seen?