TNB Night Owl — Snark Bites Presents Twitter’s Weapons Grade of Stupid

12 October Carp Tail (second version) Photo by Howard J.

So, yeah… it’s Friday overnight. You’re here. I’m here. Let’s get down to some serious snarking, shall we?

As indicated, tonight we’re going to do some quick snarks. Ready? Set! Go!

Contestant #1: A.J. Delgado.

Yeah, why would anyone think Russia — a country led by a man who routinely has his political and journalistic enemies murdered — might actually bomb children’s and maternity hospitals in a country he recently invaded? I mean, this is a salt-of-the-earth kinda guy, ya know? Somebody #45 told us was great, and a savvy genius!

So will A.J. win tonight’s award for dumbest of the dumb? Let’s find out!

Contestant #2: Jesse Watters.

I know, I know. This is fish-in-a-barrel stuff. But still. And guys, thankfully, we missed this episode.

I don’t know about you, but that’s an entire hour of weapons grade stupid right there. I’m thinking maybe Jesse and his Posse just edged out A.J. for the #1 spot. Agree? Disagree? Tell me in the comments!

Contestant #3: Tucker Carlson.

Again, yes, fish-in-a-barrel. I really should’a started my article a lot sooner than I did. My bad.

Yes, because when I want a nuanced and well-informed opinion on unfolding geopolitical events, the first person I’d think of is a UFC fighter who’s probably suffered dozens of bad concussions through the years…

Oh, and it’s a 7-minute segment.

Is Tucker now the frontrunner? Is putting a UFC fighter on your show to give his insights on Ukraine dumber than having Sarah Palin and Dan BingoBongo on? I don’t know. This may be a dead heat.

Contestant #4: Josh Hawley.

Now, I commented on this when someone posted it in last night’s TNB (I think, or it might’ve been in Biden Bits.) But, I’m including it because do you know the first thing listed in Josh Hawley’s Twitter bio? “Constitutional lawyer.” So keep in mind someone who attended law school and passed the bar said this:

Yeah, why would a defense attorney defend criminals who might actually be guilty? Maybe Josh missed that day of law school when they covered that?

I think that’s “performative asshole” for the win, guys!

So Question of the Night: where do you put our contestants tonight? Let me know in the comments down below!

As always, this is an open thread, so feel free to discuss anything you want. Keep your arms and legs in the car until it comes to a complete stop, and stay snarky, my Blender friends!

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