(Open Thread) Snark Attack: Do-It-Yourself Snark Kit

12 October Carp Tail (second version) Photo by Howard J.

Since I’m still under the weather with stomach flu, I have to make this short and sweet. However, the noon post has to get posted, thus we have this “do-it-yourself” version of the regular article.

I have a link to a news item for you, which, I’m going to warn you, is chock-full of cray-cray. You’ll be tempted to just riff on the title, but seriously, there’s so much more buried in the depths of this. So, so much more.

So… ready! Set! Snark away!

As he keeps tabs on public workers, Gableman contends Milwaukee employee is a Democrat because she plays video games, wears nose ring

Just click on the headline to be taken to the article.

I’ll start you off with this observation: who thought this would be a good use of taxpayer money? Who signed the authorization for this endeavor? Oh, and for the record, this is what an actual “witch hunt” looks like, GOP.

Okay, now it’s your turn. What crazy did you find in there? Share it in the comments below.

Addendum: as of 9 this morning (what you’ve read thus far was written last night), I’m feeling better; so I decided to give you more snark. Because I’m nice like that. And this little rant from Ben Shapiro showed up, which I had to share. (And I must really love you guys to endure even one minute and nine seconds of his whiny, pre-pubescent voice.)

I’ll post the video, as well as a transcript with my commentary interlaced. Hope you enjoy it!

Ben Shapiro: I am the most free market person on the right.

Me: Sure, Jan. Do tell us how.

Ben Shapiro: I’m a, I’m an extraordinarily pro-free market person; I don’t believe that, generally, the government should crack down on the operations of businesses. I think more freedom for businesses are good. I think that lower taxes for business are good, for the economy of Florida, for the company, for the economy of the United States, more broadly.

Me: There’s a big “but” coming, isn’t there? I mean, like a massively hypocritical big “but” that refutes everything he just said, right?

Ben Shapiro: However…

Me: So close.

Ben Shapiro: However [yes, he said it twice. I told you it was going to be a really big “but,” didn’t I?], corporations have to stand up for their own free market bona fides.

Me: What the hell does that even mean?

Ben Shapiro: And, they have to not become tools of the people who wish to destroy freedom in this country on behalf of leftist groupthink.

Me: This is the part of his rant where he just blathers a bunch of meaningless crap, hoping something sticks to the wall. I mean, how do we even determine which companies are led by people who really believe leftist policies, and those who are now “tools of the people who wish to destroy freedom in this country on behalf of leftist groupthink”? And does it really matter why they take a particular position?

And, for the record, the only people I see here on this issue trying to destroy freedom are on the right. I’m just calling balls and strikes, here, Benny.

Ben Shapiro: If you decide to just become a–

Me: He’s about to say “woke,” isn’t he?

Ben Shapiro: –woke corporation…

Me: Told ya.

Ben Shapiro: …that does the bidding of your democratic taskmasters, don’t be surprised when you get clocked by a legislative 2×4. F around and find out. F around, and that’s what Disney did.

Me: So much for all the freedom he claimed to believe businesses should have.

Ben Shapiro: Disney decided that it was going to inject itself into social politics in the state of Florida. It decided that it was going to try to use its massive corporate power in the state of Florida — it employs tens of thousands there. That it was going to try to use that power in order to cudgel the state government of Florida to do the bidding of executives in New York and Burbank California, instead, what it is finding out right now is that the people of Florida are not up for it.

Me: Thus ends the clip. I have many questions and comments about this.

Let’s begin with his ending: that the people of Florida are not up for it. How does he know this? Has there been any polling done of Florida’s voters and what they think about Disney’s position, and whether or not they think the governor’s response was reasonable or not? Because I haven’t seen them, if they’ve been done.

The thing is the right is no different than the “Moral Majority” which made pronouncements back in the 1980s. They ended up being neither moral, nor representative of the majority, but they certainly claimed to be. And that’s what today’s right is doing, too. They don’t speak for us. They don’t even speak for the majority of us. They speak for a tiny sliver of malcontents who hate pretty much everything, as it makes them feel smugly superior. And they’re more than happy to use the force of government against their enemies, whoever those enemies might be. I guess they figure the pendulum of political power will never swing back toward the democrats, huh? I guess they figure they’ll never be on the receiving end of having the cudgel of government used against them and their own rights.

I’m old enough to remember when conservative thought leaders (like Shapiro himself) would say the answer to campus speech codes or other censorship was MORE speech, not less. But now, when the speech is something they don’t like, well, they can’t have that; and don’t have a problem in the world with using the force of government to shut them down. I dunno, that doesn’t make him out to be such a respecter of the Constitution or free speech, does it?

Let’s overlook for the moment that Disney has done nothing that would or should negate the agreement they reached with Florida back in the 1960s. Do contracts and binding agreements now mean nothing to republicans? Are they not worth the paper they’re printed on if our widdle feewings are hurt by the big bad corporation that says they’ve decided to stop donating to campaigns in Florida? (Isn’t it more than a little ironic that the guy who’s made a cottage industry of the phrase “Fuck your feelings” is all about his own hurt feelings?)

Let’s get real here: the right has become nothing but a cesspit of hypocrisy, and Ben’s little rant is but one tiny example of it. Oh, yes, Ben, you believe in more freedoms for businesses as long as they toe your party’s line, right?

Fuck you and the little donkey you rode in on, buddy.

Thus ends my little rant for today.

As always, this is an open thread, so feel free to discuss anything you like. Stay snarky, my Blender peeps!

And don’t forget Sunday’s noir picture is 1949’s “The Window,” one of those rare noir films which stars a child. You won’t want to miss it! It airs at 12:15 AM and again at 10:00 AM Sunday morning on TCM, but you can probably find it online on YouTube, Amazon, or through many other outlets.

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