It’s that time again, and we must make haste!
In the “Is That What Jesus Would Do?” category, “Pastor” Joe Cammilleri:
I don’t think Jesus would care about a boy wearing nail polish…
In the “We honestly don’t have a damned thing better to do with our useless lives” category, Front Row Joes #49 and #35:
I have questions. Many, many questions. First: where do these people get the money to just travel around the country following Trump to his rallies? And how do I separate them from some of their wealth? Second, no, it’s not smart for him to get the black-card membership to Planet Fitness so he can shower there. It’s pathetic.
In the “Guess which party” category, Tom Gregor, school board candidate in Bethlehem Township, NJ:
Just the kind of person you want serving you in government, right? His wife looks nice too. BTW, he’s running unopposed.
In the “Why, yes! We are no longer the party of family values!” category:
This is the ultra MAGA republicans President Biden talks of. And they’ll be gobsmacked next week, when their candidates lose. It must be rampant election fraud!
In the “We’re so desperate to move on from January 6th (or any other topic we think will hurt us in the midterms)” category, Kellyanne Conway:
Yeah, keep telling yourselves we’ve all moved on and just don’t give a flying flip…
In the “I’m a horrible, rotten, no-good bitch” category, Marjorie Taylor Greene:
To be fair, though, this is an evergreen category which could be included in literally every single edition of the Doofus Awards.
Oh, and if one entry in that category isn’t enough for Margie, here’s another:
I know it’s a pipe dream, but I sure wish she’d be defeated on Tuesday. We need her out of Congress…
Marge interviewing a couple of fluffing ultra MAGAs at the Trump rally:
Honey, if you look up to MTG, you desperately need to get some new heroes. Seriously.
In the “Why, yes, how did you know I’m separated from my wife?” category, Brian Glenn (a study in three images):
You need to click through on #2, to get the full effect…
At the time, everyone was focused on Pat Sajak being at a dinner with Marge. But as Brian explained later, they just ran into Pat on the way out. pic.twitter.com/g8SeM1n6wL
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) November 3, 2022
It’s like he only took two suits with him when he left his wife, and both of them feature plaid…
In the “All their objections are projections” category, Matt and Mercy Schlapp:
Any bets that the MAGA vote counters will end up committing election fraud?
In the “Here’s a quarter, buy yourself a clue” category, Tina Forte:
In the “Boy does it suck to get fact-checked” category, Sean Hannity (special mention to Mike Lee):
Doncha hate when that happens?
In the “WTAF are you talking about?” category, J.D. Vance:
“Tim Ryan is sort of the poster board for oligarchy.” LOL
In the “How dare you not live up to everything we demanded of you, Elon” category, Seb Gorka:
I enjoy when MAGA gets butt-hurt…
In the “I just can’t get over my MAGA-level butt-hurt of losing,” category, Donald Trump:
this is some wild rewriting of history. people knew the Raffensperger call was a huge scandal immediately. pic.twitter.com/LEwGoDakll
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 4, 2022
He literally begged Raffensberger to find 11,780 votes. But, sure… it was a perfect call!
In the “Batshit man says batshit things about election fraud” category, Mike Lindell:
He’s going to report on election fraud in real time! His cyber guys are going to be looking in the machines! Maybe they’ll make use of the smart thermostats!
Who’s the biggest loser this week? Cast your votes below!