Coffee Talk with Tiff

December 11, 2025 12:52 pm EST Tiff Coffee Talk with Tiff 0
Coffee. Photo by Jonathan Thursfield.

It’s Thursday…

President Shitshow’s public schedule for…

12/11/2025:

9:00 AM — In-Town Pool Call Time
Everyone’s favorite: reporters loitering in the White House like bored cats waiting to see if something moves.

1:00 PM — Press Briefing with Karoline Leavitt
James S. Brady Room. On camera. So the usual ritual: questions asked, answers avoided, vibes chaotic.

4:45 PM — Signing Ceremony (Closed Press)
Oval Office. Closed press. Because nothing screams transparency like a signing ceremony no one is allowed to see.

8:15 PM — Remarks at the Congressional Ball
Grand Foyer. WH Press Pool. Cue the tuxedos, the awkward small talk, and the “trying so hard to look normal” presidential grin.

News Rewind

President Captain Jerk told the press yesterday that big news was happening in the form of the US seizing an oil tanker from Venezuela.

President Captain Jerk:

Well thank you very much. This has been an interesting day from the standpoint of news. As you probably know, we’ve just seized a tanker on the coast of Venezuela, a large tanker, very large, the largest one ever seized, actually. And other things are happening, so you’ll be seeing that later and you’ll be talking about that later with some other people.

Asked for more info on the seized tanker President Captain Jerk said maybe later adding “it was seized for a good reason”.

Reporter:
Mr. President? Thank you. Can you explain a little more about this Venezuelan oil tanker and share a little more information —

President Captain Jerk:

I’ll let the people do it, but you see the result and I guess they probably have released the pictures by now, or pretty soon. You’ll discuss that with the appropriate people later on. But no, it was seized for a very good reason. Yeah.

The New York Times (gift link-12/10/2025):

Three U.S. officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe a law enforcement operation, said the ship was carrying Venezuelan oil. They said there was no resistance from the crew and no casualties.

In a statement, Venezuela’s government called the seizure a “barefaced robbery and an act of international piracy” aimed at stripping the country of its oil wealth.

[snip]

The U.S. officials said they expected additional seizures in the coming weeks as part of the administration’s efforts to weaken Mr. Maduro’s government by undermining its oil market.

One of the officials identified the tanker as a vessel called the Skipper, and said it was carrying Venezuelan oil from Petróleos de Venezuela, the state-owned oil company known as PDVSA. The official said the ship had been previously linked to the smuggling of Iranian oil — a global black market that the Justice Department has been investigating for years. The vessel was sailing under the flag of another Latin American nation in which it was not registered, the official said, and its ultimate destination was Asia.

A federal judge issued a seizure warrant roughly two weeks ago because of the ship’s past activities smuggling Iranian oil, not because of links to the Maduro government, the official said. Prosecutors have said that Iran uses money generated from oil sales to finance its military and the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps, which the United States has designated a terrorist entity.

[snip]

The ship, under a different name, had been put under sanctions by the Treasury Department in 2022. U.S. officials said it was part of “an international oil smuggling network that facilitated oil trades and generated revenue” to support Hezbollah and Iran’s revolutionary guard force.

The tanker may have been trying to conceal its whereabouts by broadcasting falsified location data before the seizure, according to an analysis of satellite imagery and photographs by The New York Times.

The Navy, the Coast Guard, Southern Command and the Pentagon all declined to discuss the episode, referring questions to the White House.

The New York Times (gift link-12/10/2025).

After he broke news, he broke brains by trying to discuss the economy.

President Economically Clueless:

It means that instead of 4 percent GDP or 3 percent, which I say it’s so wonderful, 3 percent, it should be able to be 20 or 25 percent.

I don’t know why it can’t be, you shouldn’t kill it. And so, we hope that if this country announces great results, because you’re going to see great results over the next couple of years. All these plants, and I’m not just talking about AI. We have the biggest number of auto plants planned. Toyota just announced $10 billion in plants.

No fact-checking needed; it’s a complete fantasy to think we can achieve a 25 percent growth in GDP. Like, my brain cannot even process the amount of industries and population numbers needed that would get us close to 25 percent growth in a year.

President Economically Clueless:

And we have to get a mindset that when a country is doing well, you don’t want to kill the growth.

They kill the growth. I don’t know if you guys agree with that. They kill the growth because they’re so afraid of inflation. But you can have tremendous growth without inflation. Everything goes up with the growth, but that’s not inflation. So, I think we can do much better than traditional numbers.

And you see that. You see that with what we’re doing. We’re leading in everything.

The whole reason for the roundtable was to announce that the pay to enter the US “Trump Gold Card” was finally here.

Howard “I like Trump’s Nut-lick” Lutnick called the $1 million for individuals and $2 million for businesses a gift to the United States of America.

Howard “I like Trump’s Nut-lick” Lutnick

And for an individual, it’s $1 million and it’s a gift to the United States of America to the — to help America be great again under Donald Trump.

Everything is for sale in Trump’s White House…

Speaking of immigration…

This morning…

We are stopping there.

I’m off tomorrow for a mental health day.

See everyone Monday!

This is an open thread

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About Tiff 3413 Articles
Member of the Free Press who is politically homeless and a political junkie.