It’s Monday…
Shitshow’s public schedule for…
Every time I read “signing time,” I assume nap mats are coming next.
What I saved in Twitter Bookmarks from the Weekend. The Weekend starts for me on Friday…
Tournament what tournament?
Tournament what tournament said:
You know so you’ll be all very happy and you know it’s right now I own Doral and right now we have a tournament I’m so busy and we have the big Cadillac championship going on all the great players the PGA tour and they’re there and yesterday somebody came up said sir the tournament is great I said what tournament are you talking about I’m so busy with the Iranians calling trying to make a good deal or we’re not going to let that happen. But got to make a bad–they’ve got to make a bad deal. But uh if they make a deal at all because frankly maybe we’re better off not making a deal at all. Do you want to know the truth? Because we can’t let this thing go on. Been going on too long…
White House YouTube transcript. 05/01/2026.
The day before:
Reporter: Mr. President — President Trump, Saudi Arabia is pulling the plug on LIV Golf. Once that tour is gone, do you think the PGA tour should welcome the defectors back with open arms?
Memory like a sieve: Well, I do, it’s a great question. In fact, if I had time, I’d love to watch television today because the PGA tour is playing at Doral, the Cadillac Championship. And I said, who’s winning? I don’t get a chance — I can’t even look at it.
Jordan Spieth was in the lead earlier.
Memory like a sieve: who is?
Reporter: Jordan Spieth.
Memory like a sieve: Oh, that’s good, he’s good. Great guy. Good putter to put it mildly, right? He’s a very great guy, chipper, putter. No, it’s — they’re at my tournament right now, the PGA. In two weeks LIV is going to be at my course right here on the Potomac. No, I’d love to see LIV. But I do believe that all of the golfers should be playing — the great golfers should be playing against each other, I do believe.
It’s sort of — they were viewing something as a monopoly, but it’s way — in a way it should be the opposite of a monopoly. I want to see Rory playing Bryson DeChambeau. I want to see big Jon Rahm playing Scottie who is so great, right, Scott. Scottie Scheffler is great, and I want to see him play Jon Rahm and Bryson and all the different guys.
They have great players on the LIV, but it’s almost like people want to see that. That’s why the Masters were so good because you saw everybody together. Patrick Reed played great. He’s on LIV and he played great and they all did, they all played, they’re great players, I play with them, they’re very good.
When I think I’m a good player, then I play with them, I don’t think I’m that good. But there’s something nice about all of the players playing together. Now they’ll all be accepted by the tour, there’s no question, because they’re great. If they weren’t, you know, but the tour really will. The tour wants to have the best player.
You can’t have the best player that they’re boycotting. Now they may do something, you know, a little bit, but they’ll all be back on tour and it’ll be great. And having won two — now, I don’t know that what’s happening with LIV, I’m not sure what’s happening with LIV, but they are playing in my course in two weeks on the Potomac, beautiful course.
But right now they’re playing at Doral, which I own. And if I ever — if we end this early, I’ll be able to watch for about three minutes before [Laughter] I get back onto the economy and every other subject that we have, including Iran. We’re doing so well with Iran, so I think so. Yeah, please.
RollCall.com. 04/30/2026.
Weaved into his remarks about being so busy he can’t watch golf, Memory Like a Sieve said “better off not making a deal at all“…
The next day:
A reporter reminded President Trump yesterday that he’d said the night prior that the US might be better off not making a deal with Iran.
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) May 3, 2026
Trump said “I didn’t say that.”
He’d said it the night prior. On camera. https://t.co/2GbsY9UOy3
Reporter: President, last night you said we might be better off not making a deal with Iran.
Memory like a sieve: Well, I wouldn’t have to. I didn’t say that. I said that if we left right now, it would take them 20 years to rebuild.
White House YouTube transcript. 05/02/2026.
Brags about taking three cognitive exams:
Mister Confused:
I just felt and I I put out yesterday’s statement. I think anybody running for president or vice president should be forced to take a cognitive examination.
[applause and cheering]
Right.
I mean, you get a guy, he gets in, he’s got a good line of crap, he gets in, and all of a sudden you’re stuck with a man who’s a You know, this is this is not good. This is not good. We went through four years of it. It’s not a good situation.
White House YouTube transcript. 05/01/2026.
The statement he put out:
My response to the above post:
One day someone mean enough will to his face tell him a cognitive test doesn't measure if someone's smart.
— Ann-Tiff-A (@NewsiesNeighbor) April 30, 2026
It simply tests their memory.
In it wasn’t a drag queen news…
Craig Long, the guy who was at the White House Easter Egg Roll with all those kids? https://t.co/zrwce6pIE3 pic.twitter.com/DwP4dksJ3f
— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) May 2, 2026
I didn’t have to use magic to share the clip from the announcement. I found a YouTube clip:
Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd:
Then there’s Craig Long we arrested. He’s 41. Some of you may recognize him.
He’s an influencer. He also owns Craig Long Fitness in Tampa.
He was seeking the services of a prostitute. Did I tell you that he’s married?
That he’s got 125 followers on Instagram, 568 followers on Tik Tok? Well, I’m going to give him some content for his social media today.
He was a previous felon who straightened up really what we want to see in life. Now he’s an influencer.
You know, he moves in big circles, even with the president. This is a photograph with the president and his son not long ago.
Now, we like to see people who make mistakes early in life, and he had a long history straighten up. We like the fact that he likes the cops. Heck, he liked him so much he got caught up in a sting and got to be up and up and real close with the cops.
We asked what his attitude was. They said, “Oh, he had a great attitude. He appreciates law enforcement.”
Well, there you go. Got arrested in the human trafficking scheme. Influence that for a while.
WFLA News Channel 8 YouTube. 05/01/2026.
In US said then Iran said News:
The US said:
🚫 CLAIM: Iranian state media claims that Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps hit a U.S. warship with two missiles.
— U.S. Central Command (@CENTCOM) May 4, 2026
✅ TRUTH: No U.S. Navy ships have been struck. U.S. forces are supporting Project Freedom and enforcing the naval blockade on Iranian ports. pic.twitter.com/VFxovxLU6G
Iran said:
🚨 BREAKING
— IRIB (Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting) (@iribnews_irib) May 4, 2026
Iranian Navy, after several warnings to US destroyers approaching the Strait of Hormuz, launched cruise missiles, rockets, and combat drones near the hostile vessels, forcing them to retreat from the area.
It’s being reported that in a call CENTCOM said:
In a call with reporters just now, Adm. Brad Cooper of @CENTCOM says Iran has opened fire on U.S. warships and commercial vessels today, but declines to say whether the ceasefire between the U.S. and Iran is over.
— Dan Lamothe (@DanLamothe) May 4, 2026
U.S. forces returned fire and destroyed some Iranian small…
The rest of the tweet says: U.S. forces returned fire and destroyed some Iranian small boats.
Multiple U.S. destroyers are presently in the Arabian Gulf, Adm. Cooper says.
— Dan Lamothe (@DanLamothe) May 4, 2026
Adm. Cooper says the United States has cleared an "effective pathway" of Iranian mines for commercial vessels.
— Dan Lamothe (@DanLamothe) May 4, 2026
Other mines remain.
The U.S. naval blockade remains in effect as a separate effort, Adm. Cooper says.
— Dan Lamothe (@DanLamothe) May 4, 2026
Iran said:
🚨 EXCLUSIVE
— IRIB (Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting) (@iribnews_irib) May 4, 2026
A senior Iranian military official told IRIB that the U.S. claim about sinking several Iranian military boats is false.
This timeline sucks even more than Trump 1.0, because now everything is noise. And when Iran comes off as more credible than the U.S. government, that’s not just embarrassing, it’s dangerous.
This is an Open Thread
