It’s Monday…
Before we dive into the weekend update from Hades, we first must talk about Market Manipulation Monday.
What feels like every Monday since Puddle’s war of choice with Iran started, he runs out to tamp down concerns that the U.S. is losing the war and that this thing will drag on forever.
Puddle’s Fox & Friends broke the “breaking news” that Puddle believes Iran should wave the “white flag” and that if Oman messes with his war of choice, we will “bomb the shit out of them.”
Trey Yingst:
I just got off the phone with President Trump who discussed the situation with Iran as the 60 day memorandum of understanding expires.
The president told Fox News Iran should wave the right flag of surrender. He went on to say “I have no time schedule. I’m not in a hurry.”
The president indicating that the U.S. naval blockade is continuing to put new economic pressure on the Iranian regime despite what the Iranians have said publicly. He said they are good poker players but they are dying and that the midterms in the United States have nothing to do with the president’s thinking.
Now, I asked the president about these parallel talks that are taking place between Iran and Oman about control of the Strait of Hormuz. And the president told Fox News if Oman gets in the way, “we’ll bomb the shit out of them.”
We went on to talk about a variety of different regional topics, including the U.S. stockpiles of weapons that are currently stationed in the Middle East, the president says “what we have used so far is peanuts.”
He went on to say United States has a lot of mid level weapons and that many of the more advanced systems the presidents says were given away by President Biden to Ukraine, for example, when we’re talking about air defense that is needed right now in the Middle East.
The president is also spoke about U.S. ally Israel. Remember his son-in-law and top negotiator Jared Kushner is in the region. He met yesterday with Khalil, the current Hamas chief in Egypt.
And the president said that they have a different channel with Hamas, and that ultimately, they are giving up their guns, talking about the demilitarization of the Gaza Strip.
I asked the president about the upcoming Israeli elections in October, and President Trump told Fox News “I think it’s most appropriate to stay out of Israeli elections. But I may endorse somebody. So a lot of headlines here.
The president talking about the latest in terms of the Strait of Hormuz. And the Iranian regime that at this moment appears unwilling to reach a diplomatic solution with the United States.
Guys?
Fox News YouTube’s shitty transcript.
And, like always someone from Iran has come out and denied everything Puddle has said.
Tasnim News Agency (08/17/2026):
The Islamic Revolution Guards Corps spokesperson denied US President Donald Trump’s claim that Washington is holding backchannel talks with the IRGC officials, calling the statement a delusion stemming from the US failure in the war.
Speaking to Tasnim on Monday, IRGC Spokesperson Brigadier General Hossein Mohebbi made it clear that there are no talks whatsoever between IRGC officials and the US.
“There is no dialogue taking place between IRGC officials and the Americans,” Mohebbi said, describing Trump’s claim as “merely fantasies caused by the delusions and nightmares resulting from defeat and desperation in the war” of aggression against Iran.
[snip]
He further argued that Trump is attempting through his statements to temporarily control global oil and energy prices.
“Trump’s mental fantasies will not help him on the field,” Mohebbi said, stressing that the only real option available to the US president is to accept defeat and comply with the conditions set by Iran.
“The sooner and faster the Americans accept their failure and make decisions accordingly, the more they can save their country from greater and heavier losses,” he stated.
Tasnim News Agency (08/17/2026).
As of 11:10 am est time oil prices stand:
As of 11:13 am est time the stock market stands:
#Winning…
Now back to our regularly scheduled weekend update…
Weekend Update…
This weekend like most weekends now Puddle spent his time sharing AI slop and yelling at the sky…
Iran war:
Ballroom Bullshit:
I’m still waiting for someone in the media to ask him why the hell the White House needs this military-complex-drone-port-ballroom bullshit now, given that threats against a president have existed since forever.
Article headlines he shared:
Midterm election lets his racism flag fly:
What about Biden!!!!
You aren’t seeing a double post mistake. He honestly posted the “Prison with Joe Biden Freedom with President Trump” memes twice in the same day.
No weekend is complete without photos of himself being shared.
Tells Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to please tone down military exercises with South Korea so his BFF Kim Jong Un of North Korea doesn’t get the sads. Oh, and because South Korea refused to help us fight a choice war with Iran after Puddle started it.
Hegshit has not thanked his cult leader via Twitter at my last check…
Demands the Senate vote on the “NO MORE CHANGING THE CLOCKS ACT” which is actually called the Sunshine Protection Act.
There was more. But like most Monday’s, I’ve run out of fucks to give.
Shitshow’s public schedule for…
NBC Bay Area News (08/16/2026):
The teenage lifeguard who saved a young swimmer at Seabright Beach in Santa Cruz in July will meet with President Donald Trump at the White House on Monday.
Ryder Williams, the 16-year-old lifeguard who rushed into the water to save a 10-year-old child who was overwhelmed by wave after wave last month, will meet President Donald Trump on Monday afternoon at the Oval Office, according to the official White House schedule.
[snip]
Williams said he received help from Aaron Bohnen, another lifeguard, and both brought the kid back to the shore.
“This is my job and I love what I do,” Williams wrote in a statement. “I’m thankful to my fellow lifeguards who perform rescues just like this every day.”
NBC Bay Area News (08/16/2026).
