Coffee Talk with Tiff

Coffee. Photo by Jonathan Thursfield.

It’s Tuesday…

President Shitshow’s public schedule for…

His Tuesday, October 28, 2025, schedule is a monster—half of it’s already in the past tense. Normally I’d slap a screenshot or a chart here, but this thing’s too bloated for that nonsense. Somewhere between the photo ops and the jet-lagged briefings, he found time to post another public-health hazard disguised as a Truth.

Doctor Donald’s Prescription for Panic

Pregnant women, painkillers, and panic. A familiar formula. He lobs medical advice like confetti, caps-locks the warning label, and somewhere in Texas, Ken Paxton decides to make it law.

By Tuesday morning, the Texas Attorney General filed a lawsuit against the makers of Tylenol — accusing them of misleading the public about “prenatal risks.” The same company that’s been in medicine cabinets since Eisenhower is now a target in the Great Culture War of the pharmacy aisle.

Trump posts the panic; Paxton files the paperwork. It’s a feedback loop of delusion and litigation.

Ken Paxton, the Republican attorney general of Texas, sued the makers of Tylenol on Tuesday, claiming that the companies hid the risks of the drug on brain development of children.

The lawsuit is the latest fallout from President Trump’s claim last month that use of Tylenol during pregnancy can cause autism. That link is unproven.

Mr. Paxton filed the suit against Johnson & Johnson, which sold Tylenol for decades, and Kenvue, a spinoff company that has sold the drug since 2023.

[snip]

This lawsuit is the first by a state that seizes on Mr. Trump’s allegations that the use of acetaminophen products like Tylenol during pregnancy could cause neurodevelopmental disorders. The issue has been a longstanding concern among some followers of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the nation’s top health official, but the idea gained traction with Mr. Trump’s remarks.

Kenvue has repeatedly defended Tylenol’s safety and rejected Mr. Trump’s claims about the drug’s use during pregnancy and autism.

“We will defend ourselves against these baseless claims and will respond per the legal process,” Melissa Witt, a spokeswoman for Kenvue, said on Tuesday. “We stand firmly with the global medical community that acknowledges the safety of acetaminophen and believe we will continue to be successful in litigation as these claims lack legal merit and scientific support.”

[snip]

Hundreds of lawsuits in state and federal courts have been filed in recent years by families who claimed that their children were diagnosed with autism or A.D.H.D. after use of Tylenol during pregnancy.

In the largest group of cases, filed in federal court, a U.S. judge in New York dismissed the lawsuits, citing a lack of reliable scientific evidence. The plaintiffs are appealing the decision, with a hearing in front of an appellate panel scheduled for Nov. 17.

[snip]

Mr. Paxton, who is challenging Senator John Cornyn, the incumbent, in the Republican primary next year, has been aggressive in filing litigation that aligns with Mr. Trump’s priorities. He has challenged the results of the 2020 election, sued nonprofits representing immigrants’ rights and sought to remove Democratic lawmakers from office in Texas during a battle over redistricting. Though not always successful, Mr. Paxton’s legal efforts have generated deep support for him among Texas Republicans.

[snip]

The main law firm representing plaintiffs in the personal injury cases, Keller Postman, is also serving as outside counsel on Mr. Paxton’s suit.

Those plaintiff cases must clear the high bar of showing that the drug caused neurodevelopmental disorders in children and that families should be awarded damages as a result.

But Mr. Paxton’s suit pursues a different tack by arguing that Johnson & Johnson and Kenvue violated Texas law by not informing consumers of the possible risks of taking Tylenol during pregnancy.

New York Times (gift link). 10/28/2025.

From Pharma Panic to Felony Fatigue

While Paxton was suing Tylenol for imaginary crimes, Trump was busy appealing his very real felony conviction. It’s a tidy snapshot of the modern Republican hierarchy: one man trying to outlaw pain relief, the other trying to relieve himself of accountability.

The appeal was filed late Monday, and the legal team’s argument can be summed up as “do-over, please.” It’s less a defense strategy than a vibes-based rebrand of guilt.

President Donald Trump on Monday asked a New York appeals court to overturn his criminal conviction in the Manhattan hush money case that made him a felon as he plotted a path back to the White House last year.

In a 96-page filing, Trump’s lawyers relied on many of the same arguments that Trump previously made before, during and immediately following the 2024 trial, including that the conviction should be thrown out in light of the Supreme Court’s ruling on presidential immunity and that the judge who oversaw the trial should have recused himself because he made political contributions.

[snip]

The appeal is just one of Trump’s attempts to overturn his conviction last May of 34 counts of business fraud for his effort to conceal a hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels.

He has separately asked a federal appeals court to transfer his state criminal case to federal court. Such a move would pave the way for Trump to eventually ask the Supreme Court to erase his criminal record by tossing his conviction on presidential immunity grounds.

Though Trump has suffered few consequences as a result of the conviction — he won reelection in November and was subsequently sentenced to no punishment in January — he’ll still carry the title of felon unless an appellate court overturns the case.

Politico. 10/28/2025.

Commander in Grievance

After the courtroom filings and the pharmaceutical panic, he turned up in Japan to speak to what looked like U.S. troops. The setting said “official visit,” but the tone wandered somewhere between campaign stump and open-mic night.

He opened by declaring victory in an election that never happened — claiming he’d already won a “third term” that was “too big to rig.” From there, the speech rolled through a greatest-hits tour of economic fiction, grievance, and applause lines:

President Can’t Quit 2020 Lies: Less than a year ago, I was campaigning. You know, we won the second election by a lot, so we had to just prove it by winning the third — too big to rig, I called it. It was too big to rig. And it was an amazing victory. And thank goodness we won, because we were in big trouble. We were in big, big trouble. But the new recruits—

After rewriting electoral history, he moved on to naval engineering. Because of course he did. What started as a quick poll about aircraft carriers turned into a full policy proposal — complete with crowd participation, hammer nostalgia, and an executive order for steam.

President Steam is Beautiful: That was never on an aircraft carrier before, so they switched to electric. I disagree with it, but it’s all right. Let me ask you — we’re gonna go steam first and then electric. Catapults — which is better, electric or steam? [Audience responds “Steam”] I’m gonna put in an order. Seriously, they’re spending billions of dollars to build stupid electric. And the problem, when it breaks, you have to send up to MIT, get the most brilliant people in the world, fly ’em out. It’s ridiculous. The steam — they say they can fix it with a hammer and a blowtorch, and it works just as well, if not better. And I love the sight of that beautiful steam pouring off that deck. With the electric, you don’t have that.

President I Hate Magnets: The costs come in, they spend 900 — this is not on my watch. So, you know, if it was on my watch, I would be very quiet about it. I wouldn’t be talking about it. They spent $993 million on the catapults trying to get them to work, and they had steam, which worked so beautifully. And it has for 50 years, right? So we’re gonna go back. Seriously, fellas, I wanna make that change. I’m gonna do an executive order. I’m not gonna let them continue to do this now. They’re trying to make it work. They’re trying so hard and they have something that’s perfect. So we’re gonna go back on that — and the magnets, thank you very much.

*Flashback*

He insisted the $993 million overrun “wasn’t on his watch.” It was. He made the same complaint in 2019 — while standing on a ship in Japan, as president. The man’s turned his own record into somebody else’s mess.

Navy Times (05/28/2019):

President Donald Trump kicked off a Tuesday speech to the crew of the amphibious assault ship Wasp with a question — electric or steam?

“So then let me ask you a question — catapult — right, the catapult system. Do you like electric or steam?” Trump said while calling for an audience voice vote during his roughly 20-minute address in Yokosuka, Japan.

[snip]

Going back to steam also would likely receive a chilly response on Capitol Hill, not to mention at San Diego-based contractor General Atomics, the manufacturer of EMALS.

The problem is that Ford-class carriers have been designed from the power plant up for EMALS.

To return to the system used by Nimitz would mean carving out space for both generating steam and piping it to the catapults, displacing other systems built into the warships.

Navy Times (05/28/2019).

*End Flashback*

After re-litigating aircraft carrier mechanics, he swerved back to familiar territory: mocking Joe Biden’s résumé. The tangent landed somewhere between stand-up comedy and old-man-yelling-at-clouds.

President Who Can’t Quit Biden: And see, Biden used to say he was a pilot. He was a pilot, he was a truck dri—whatever, whoever walked in. He wasn’t a pilot. Wasn’t much of a president either, to be honest with you, that I can tell you. That we all know. But, uh—

Reality Check:

“There’s no record that he drove an 18-wheeler, the typical meaning of a tractor-trailer.”
PolitiFact, Dec. 3 2021

“Newsweek could find no record of Joe Biden ever saying that he was … a pilot.”
Newsweek, Mar. 18 2024

So, no — Biden never claimed to be a pilot, and his “truck driver” moment was more of a factory photo-op than a résumé line. The whole bit was built on fumes, not facts.

Next came the global brag reel — a victory lap of “investment commitments” and trillion-dollar totals that sounded more like a telethon than a troop address.

President Makes up Phony Numbers: We built the greatest economy in the history of the world. We had an economy like nobody has seen before and now, we’re doing it again, but this time actually it’s going to be much bigger, much stronger. I told you, $17 trillion, but it’s gonna be 20, $21 trillion. And that’s numbers that have never been heard of before. Much bigger than any other country in the world by literally 15, $16 trillion. It’s amazing.

For context, here’s what the administration itself has been bragging about overseas — all the so-called “investment commitments” rolled into one glossy highlight reel.

Country / RegionInvestment CommitmentAnnouncement DateWhite House SourceVerification / Economic Context
Japan$550 billion (advancing prior commitments)Oct 28 2025Fact SheetFramed as “advancing previous commitments,” not a new pledge; mostly repackaged corporate investments already in progress.
Japan (Trade Agreement)Unspecified total (Strategic Trade & Investment Agreement)Jul 23 2025Fact SheetVague memorandum language; no dollar total or binding terms released.
Saudi Arabia$600 billionMay 13 2025Fact SheetEchoes earlier 2017 claim of $400 billion; no public filings or contracts confirm the figure.
European Union$600 billion (by 2028)Jul 2025Fact SheetAnnounced as a “goal” rather than a signed deal; EU officials have not confirmed matching numbers.
Qatar$1.2 trillionMay 2025Fact SheetNo independent record of such scale; likely aggregate of multiple private-sector MOU announcements.
United Arab Emirates$200 billion (new) + $1.4 trillion (existing framework)May 2025Fact SheetCombines older 2023-era announcements with new memoranda; no verifiable FDI filings to match totals.

So even if every press release were magically true — which is optimistic bordering on fanfiction — the grand total would still be about $4.55 trillion, not the $17 to $21 trillion he’s bragging about. The math doesn’t lie, but the microphone sure does.

He’s not leading a trade mission. He’s narrating a highlight reel of delusions and calling it foreign policy.

This is an open thread

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About Tiff 3352 Articles
Member of the Free Press who is politically homeless and a political junkie.