Coffee Talk with Tiff

July 8, 2026 12:54 pm EDT Tiff Coffee Talk with Tiff 0
Image credit: AI-generated illustration created with ChatGPT

It’s Wednesday…

Shitshow’s public schedule for…

NATO: The Misspoke Tour

Today’s NATO press conference with Mark Rutte produced a greatest hits album nobody requested. Puddle called President Zelenskyy “Putin” to his face, referred to the “Islamic Republic of Japan,” claimed Iran was behind the USS Cole bombing, insisted NATO should have handed the U.S. Greenland, declared Spain a lost cause, and announced the ceasefire with Iran was over. It was less a diplomatic briefing and more a geography exam graded in crayon.

I’ve included the Twitter clips alongside the Forbes transcript so readers can watch the exchange and compare it to the transcript.

“SS Cole”…

[1:34] They can’t have a nuclear weapon, and they go around killing people. They’ve killed thousands and thousands of our soldiers. They’ve killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people.

They had the roadside bomb. Soleimani. I took care of him first term, and that was a big thing because I think he probably would be a lot stronger had he been around because he was a bad guy. But he was an evil genius, but a bad guy, and he was the father of the roadside bomb.

The roadside bomb is a bomb that goes off when you’re driving your little vehicle around, and it goes off, and you have no legs, no arms, and no face. And they’ve killed thousands and thousands of people.

Even the SS Cole was theirs, you know, if you remember that disaster.

So, I don’t like them at all.

Forbes. 07/08/2026.

Big mad NATO didn’t give him Greenland…

Rest of the tweet says: Now in fairness, I didn’t speak to Mark about it.”

Rest of the tweet says: They’re hopeless. Bad people.”

[3:34] And I want to thank Mark. He’s been a great secretary general of NATO.

I’m not happy with NATO because of what they did with Greenland. And I’m not happy with NATO because of the fact that they didn’t want to help us with the number one state sponsor of terror. That’s Iran. They were unwilling to help us.

Now, in all fairness, they didn’t speak to Mark about it. I think if I did, it might have been different. But we didn’t need help. But I was really testing. I wanted to see whether or not they’d be there. And the answer is they were. I spoke to Germany. I spoke to France. Spoke to UK, spoke to Italy, I spoke to I didn’t speak to Spain. Spain is a wasted cause.

We don’t want to do any trade business with Spain anymore, by the way. I’d like you to cut it off. Spain is a terrible partner in NATO. They don’t participate. They don’t pay. I don’t want anything to do with Spain. Cut off all trade with Spain, please.

Including visits. Okay? We don’t want anything to do. What? Watch them come running back. Oh, they’ll come running back. They treat this man terribly. And this man’s a good man, too. Great man. They’re lucky they have them. But Spain doesn’t agree to anything. And you shouldn’t carry him. I mean, you sort of automatically carry because you’re protecting an area. So, they’re there. So, they probably figure they have to protect us, right? But we don’t have to. We don’t have to trade with them.

I don’t want to do any more trade with them. All right. Take it immediately. Don’t even talk to them. They’re hopeless, bad people because, you know, they have everybody else going and paying and working in Spain, in particular Spain. There a couple of others, but in particular Spain, they’re open about it. They’re hostile about it.

And let’s see how hostile they remain when they call up and they please, please, we want to trade with you, sir. We want to trade with you, sir. They make so much money with us. And we’re going to see that they make a lot less. I want no business with them.

Forbes. 07/08/2026.

Euro News (07/08/2026):

The US president had already threatened in March to take economic reprisals against Spain after Moncloa blocked the use of the Rota and Morón bases for Washington’s bombing campaign against Iran.

[snip]

From the Moncloa palace, sources close to the prime minister insist they were prepared for this scenario and say they are taking the tycoon’s snubs with relative “calm”. The government had put together a solid set of talking points, and Pedro Sánchez travelled to Ankara with a raft of data to respond to Donald Trump’s attacks.

Despite US demands, Spain points out that it has already reached 2% of GDP in defence spending, that it now ranks seventh among NATO’s 32 members, and that NATO’s own technical projections suggest spending 2.1% will be enough for it to meet its commitments.

Euro News (07/08/2026).

Is the ceasefire over?

[12:44] Is the ceasefire over? Is the ceasefire done? Is the deal dead? It’s a very interesting question to me.

I think it’s over. I don’t want to deal with them anymore. They’re scum. You know what scum is? They’re scum. They’re sick people. They’re led by sick people. And they’re vicious, violent people. And if they had a nuclear weapon, they’d use it. As far as I’m concerned, it’s over.

I’ll speak to our negotiators. They want to negotiate. They’re good people. Steve Witkoff, Jared Kushner, but they have to come back to me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a waste of time dealing with them. They’re liars. We make a deal. And if I make a deal with them, we have a deal.

Everyone’s agreed. No nuclear weapon. We make a deal. They go outside, talk to the press, they say, “We never even talked about it.”

There’s something wrong with them. They’re cuckoo. As far as I’m concerned, it’s over.

Forbes. 07/08/2026.

The Misspoke Tour made its next stop with President Zelenskyy sitting right beside him.

“Islamic Republic of Japan”…

[12:07]: [We had a 100… ] I told the story yesterday. We had 111 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan. They were shot at the aircraft carrier [over a period of about one hour. One hundred eleven missiles going to a very expensive ship.

And every one of those missiles was knocked down, pretty much most by Patriots, but by other means also, as you know. Yeah. Other less expensive means. It’s even better when you do that.

But out of the 111 missiles, every one of them was shot down. It didn’t hit the ship and, you know, bad things happen, right, when that happens.

So, think of that. Over a period of one hour, these missiles are coming at you, and every one of them was shot down.]

Forbes. 07/08/2026.

He knew he fucked up…

[20:14] Puddle: President, do you have a question for President Putin? Not to Putin. What would you like to ask him? Because I’m going to ask him that question.

Reporter: I have a question. Last year you called Russia a paper tiger, referring to…

Puddle: Who did they call?

Reporter: I’m from The Telegraph, Ukrainian media.

Puddle: No, give us a question. Not for Zelenskyy. Give us a question for Putin. I’m speaking to him today.

Reporter: Yeah. Putin. It will be a good hard question. When will he end this war?

Puddle: That’s a good question. I don’t think I’ve ever answered that question. I’ve been asking him that question.

Reporter: Mr. President, the status of it. What’s the stat…?

Puddle: By the way, I will tell you, though, he’s going to tell you that he wants it ended as soon as he can end it. He wants it ended. He wants it ended soon. And I ask him, and we talk. I talk to him a lot. I talk to him a little bit less, but the relationship is very good. But I talk to President Putin a lot. He wants to end the war.

Reporter: Mr. President, a lot of people don’t believe that.

Reporter: What are President Putin’s conditions for ending the war? Do you know what?

Puddle: Well, there were certain conditions that were a little bit different. I think they’re changing. I think they’re probably getting a little bit better toward some of the things that you’d like.

Forbes. 07/08/2026.

We’ll end today’s Misspoke Tour here. Not because he’s done talking, but because I’m out of polite ways to document it.

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About Tiff 3694 Articles
Member of the Free Press who is politically homeless and a political junkie.