It’s Friday.
Thursday’s Make-up work…
Yesterday, Puddle and his Nazi Miller gathered in the Oval Office to take another shot at ending birthright citizenship through executive orders.
The twin orders come after Puddle lost his attempt to ignore a constitutional right with an executive order he signed last year.
Having read Ending Birth Tourism and Continuing to Protect the Meaning and Value of American Citizenship, I gotta be honest… they don’t do what Puddle and his Nazi’s think they do.
Having read ENDING BIRTH TOURISM and CONTINUING TO PROTECT THE MEANING AND VALUE OF AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP I gotta be honest–they don’t do what the Puddle and his Nazi’s think.
As the New York Times explained:
A Department of Homeland Security official, who was granted anonymity because they weren’t authorized to speak about the executive orders, threw cold water on the birth tourism order. There is nothing new in it from an enforcement perspective, the official said, because it simply restates existing law.
New York Times. 08/06/2026.
Puddle was asked how many people benefit from birthright citizenship. Puddle had a wild take. Surprise!
When a reporter noted that the president’s own solicitor general had been unable to tell the Supreme Court precisely how many people were benefiting from birthright citizenship, Mr. Trump replied, “I’ll tell you right now, hundreds of thousands, OK? Hundreds of thousands.”
(Pennsylvania State University scholars released a study about the time of the Supreme Court ruling that found that fewer than 0.3 percent of all births in the United States were to tourists, in any year.)But Mr. Trump pressed on, “You have one man came in with a family head said he had 56 children. Another one came in. They said they had 98 children. This was not what it was for. This was meant for the babies of slaves. It was, it was right after one week or two weeks after the Civil War ended.” In fact, birthright citizenship was ratified as part of the 14th Amendment more than three years after the war ended.
New York Times. 08/06/2026.
We can expect more lawsuits to come regarding these orders.
In response to the president’s orders on Thursday, Cody Wofsy, deputy director of the ACLU’s Immigrants’ Rights Project, said in a statement, “The Supreme Court already decided this issue: Birthright citizenship is guaranteed by the Constitution. No additional executive order can change the meaning of the Constitution. Any executive order that tries to rewrite birthright citizenship will meet the same fate as the last one.”
New York Times. 08/06/2026.
Roll tape:
Reporter: Mr. President, at the Supreme Court, John Sauer, the Solicitor General, did not have an answer as to how many individuals take advantage of birth tourism. Is there a number that you can cite?
Puddle:
I’ll tell you right now, hundreds of thousands, OK? Hundreds of thousands. You have one man who came in with a family and said he had 56 children. Another one came in, they said they had 98 children. This was not what it was for. This was meant for the babies of slaves. It was right after one week or two weeks after the Civil War ended.
This wasn’t for wealthy multi-millionaires, billionaires coming in and bringing 15, 20, 30 children along with them. It’s become a big business, and we’re ending that business. Please.
RollCall.com. 08/06/2026,
I didn’t think this would need to be explained, but here we are. Bringing in children who are already born doesn’t make them birthright citizens. The whole premise of Puddle’s example falls apart because the man would have to be bringing in 56 pregnant women, not a family with 56 children.
Speaking of Puddle’s words…
During the same Oval Office event, Puddle somehow confused California with Iowa…
Puddle:
Well, that’s a good question, but it’s sort of simple to answer. I inherited the highest prices ever. I inherited the worst inflation in the history of our country, and we have done an amazing job. And oil prices now are coming down very rapidly, if you look at what’s going on. It’s down to $75.
When I started the very important excursion into the Islamic Republic of Iran, it was a very important excursion because they can’t have a nuclear weapon. Otherwise, the whole world would get blown up. We’re not going to let that happen.
Not only us, not only the Middle East, the whole world would have been… It would have been catastrophic. We had no choice. We had gasoline down to less than $2. In many places, like Iowa, gasoline was down to numbers that people hadn’t seen in years, $1.85, $1.95. [Inaudible] I was in Iowa at a stop, and we had $1.95, another one $1.85 a gallon.
And we’ll see those days pretty soon again, based on everything I see, as soon as the war ends. And I think it’s going to end pretty soon. I don’t think they can go much longer. Yeah, please.
RollCall.com. 08/06/2026.
[Inaudible] I was in Iowa at a stop, and we had $1.95, another one $1.85 a gallon.
Narrator: He wasn’t in Iowa on Tuesday. He was in California.
His last trip to Iowa was in late January 2026. Even if we generously pretend that’s what he meant, gas wasn’t $1.85 a gallon then either.
Everything is fine…
Puddle went a memeing Thursday evening. Most of them are recycled memes he spent last weekend posting.
Next came the obligatory Lies Social victory tour. Which I will not be sharing. I will be breaking the Thursday update to report that racist piece of shit Rep. Andy Ogles from Tennessee lost his primary. Puddle coped with his endorsed so racist even white nationalists have rejected him candidate’s loss…
The cope is strong…
Before filling his feed with “I made this happen” posts celebrating primary winners, he shared an article.
The war he said just yesterday, “And we’ll see those days pretty soon again, based on everything I see, as soon as the war ends. And I think it’s going to end pretty soon. I don’t think they can go much longer.”
He has now re’lied the post, reposted the same post, and made it his pinned Lie on Lies Social.
Shitshow’s public schedule for…
They’ve included his golf schedule for the weekend.
Friday has been a real bad news day for Puddle.
The first punch landed when the Bureau of Labor Statistics released the June jobs report.
I probably don’t need to Tiffsplain this, but while listening to a TikTok Live earlier this morning, one guy kept asking, over and over, “Well, how many jobs were added in June?”
None. Negative numbers mean we lost jobs.
Thank you for coming to my Tiff Talk.
Sadly for Puddle, that wasn’t even the worst part of the June jobs report.
And how about the revisions…
To sum up:
July: -23,000 jobs.
May and June: Combined loss of 103,000 jobs.
The second blow landed when a federal court told Puddle he’d have to stop building his ballroom…
NEW: The D.C. Circuit ruled 2-1 that Trump can't just demolish and replace chunks of the White House without congressional approval. Next stop: Supreme Court.
— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) August 7, 2026
w/ @joshgerstein https://t.co/djP7cAtXsK
Care to guess which of today’s hits sent Puddle running to Lies Social? I’ll give you three guesses, and the first two don’t count.
The text:
Two Obama and Biden Appellate Court Judges just voted against the desperately needed Military Center, required for the National Security of Washington, D.C., and our Country, itself. Highly Respected Judge, Neomi Rao, stated the following key points, among others, in a strongly worded dissent:
Fuck Trump.
“This was a blatant abuse of discretion…To begin with, the district court had no jurisdiction because the Trust has no standing to stop construction at the White House…[T]he balance of equities overwhelmingly favors the government. The district court elevated the aesthetic displeasure of a single passerby over the government’s security interests in the ballroom and the security risks of leaving an open construction site at the President’s home and office…These errors in equitable judgment require vacating the injunction…The district court seized supervision of construction at the White House, and my colleagues affirm this judicial overreach…Because the injunction is beyond the proper province of the federal courts, construction should be allowed to continue.”
The decision has been stayed, and does not take effect for a period of time. We will be immediately appealing to the United States Supreme Court. The Military and Secret Service are viewing this horrendous, politically motivated, and unlawful ruling as a National Security threat to our Nation in that the entire Complex is being built for the protection of our Country and, additionally, all future Presidents. The single, integrated project includes Bomb Shelters, State of the Art Hospital and Medical Facilities, Protective Partitioning, Top Secret Military Facilities, Structures and Equipment, Protective Missile Resistant Steel, Columns, Roofs, and Beams, Drone Proof Ceilings and Roofs, Military Grade Venting, and Bullet, Ballistic, and Blast Proof Glass. It is all tied together as one big, expensive, and very complex unit, which is vital for National Security and Military Operations of the United States of America! The Circuit Court’s decision, which is totally wrong on the vital subject of STANDING, of which the plaintiff has none, severely jeopardizes the lives and welfare of the people who work, and will be working, at the White House — including all future Presidents of the United States, and their families, as well as the lives of all those visiting, such as Heads of State and other Dignitaries, and all Americans who wish to visit the historic, beautiful Executive Mansion. The Circuit Court also refused to acknowledge that the desperately needed, and totally secure Ballroom, which is being built ahead of schedule and under budget, is a Gift from President Trump and Great Patriots of the United States of America. The entire Complex, Military and all, is largely built, fabricated, and paid for. Much is already on site, or being delivered. Why didn’t they bring this case long prior to construction starting? There will be no expense to the American Taxpayer. This unjust decision must be overturned by the Supreme Court in its entirety. Thank you for your attention to this deeply important National Security matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
We made it gang. That’s a wrap for Friday. I’ll see you on Monday…
