When Steve Breaks In To Lyin’ Don’s Deep State Bakery

Unfortunately, Lyin’ Don was not able to provide us a Deep State Bakery recipe this evening, so I decided to break in to the Deep State Bakery!

I would love to offer you a treasured, family recipe handed down from my great, great grandmother…but who am I kidding…I can’t bake!

Therefore, this Deep State Bakery offering will be one for those of us who are not very capable in the bakery.

I give you:

“Steve’s Deep State Oatmeal Cookies”


1 (or 2, who’s counting?) 12oz beer of choice (I prefer an IPA)
1 Package ready to bake Toll House Oatmeal Cookies (works equally well with chocolate chip)
1 Oven
1 Alexa enabled device


1. Crack open the beer and liberally pour some down your throat. A second swig is optional.
2. Preheat oven to 325
3. Open Toll House Oatmeal Cookies package
4. Very neatly, arrange the cookies on the cookie pan, ensuring proper “dress right, dress”
5. Place cookie pan in oven
6. Tell Alexa to set timer for 14 minutes

Which usually goes something like this for me:
Me: Alexa
Alexa: No response
Me: Alexa
Alexa: No response
Alexa: No response
Alexa: Ready
ME: Set timer for 14 minutes
Alexa: Timer starting now for 40 minutes
Me: Alexa, STOP!
Alexa: Timer stopped
Me: Alexa
Alexa No response
Alexa: Ready
Me: Set timer for 12 minutes
Alexa: Timer starting now for 12 minutes

7. When timer sounds, remove cookies from oven
8. Allow cookies to cool for 10 minutes
9. Burn roof of mouth on cookie that you did not allow to cool for 10 minutes
10. Take a drink of beer to cool burnt mouth
11. Try to eat the first batch of cookies before your family finds out you baked cookies.
12. Repeat process for another batch for the family to enjoy.

There you have it!

I hope you enjoy these cookies and I really hope that Lyin’ Don forgives me for hijacking her Deep State Bakery feature. Let’s all hope that she will return next week to do this properly! Otherwise, I might have to provide the recipe for “Steve’s Deep State Brownies”!

Some photos to help you with the process:

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About Steve Wood 257 Articles
I am a husband, a father, a small business owner, a veteran, and a Citizen of the United States. As my avatar depicts, I believe The People need to relearn and focus on the basic principles that our Republic was built upon. My contributions here will be geared toward that end. Please join me in rational, civil discourse.