TNB Night Owl – Dangerous Cats

Cats ruled the internet for a time, borne to the throne on LOLcats from ICanHasCheezburger, Simon’s Cat, Maru, Keyboard Cat and others.

But all rulers have their dark side.

We’ve all seen the comic strips, where cats are portrayed as sneaky or aloof, sometimes dangerous.  The cat next door could tear huge gouges out of Snoopy’s doghouse.  Bucky Katt isn’t dangerous, but he is destructive.  Snuffles, from Pearls Before Swine, is a less stable friend to Little Guard Duck.  All of them take a back seat to The Evil from the comic strip Sluggy Freelance, though.

The Evil is a group of kittens.  Their mother, an ordinary cat.  Their father?  Well…  

The kittens proceed to slaughter nearly everyone in the town.  Beheadings, eviscerations, and in one case a playful (for them) version of the famed Alien chestburster scene.  They’re calmed down by saucers of milk.  Real milk, not soy milk.  The fake stuff is what set them off in the first place.

They’ve been the villains in books, television and movies, too.  Tales From the Darkside: The Movie featured Stephen King’s “The Cat From Hell”.  Shiro, from the Samurai Cat book series, is incredibly violent and a bit of an antihero who dies while trying to sell nukes to terrorists (he was going to kill them afterward).  But of all of them, the best have to be the cats from Night of 1000 Cats… just because they’re so incredibly ineffective.

Unless you’re in the mood for a really bad movie, forward to about 1:16 into the film.  That’s when terrible “mrowr” dubbing and a bunch of kitties running around or occasionally tossed lightly at people get their time in the spotlight.

Remember, cats attack at the sight of blood.  Or at least they do in cheap Mexican exploitation films.  They’re like furry, scritch-demanding sharks that way.

Perhaps that’s what children have done wrong in Iceland for a few hundred years.  They need to scritch Jolakotturinn behind the ears.  Maybe then he won’t hunt them down and devour their entrails.

The Jólakötturinn is no mere kitten—it towers above the tallest houses. As it prowls about Iceland on Christmas night, the Yule Cat peers in through the windows to see what kids have gotten for presents. If new clothes are among their new possessions, the big cat will move along. But if a child was too lazy to earn their new socks, the Jólakötturinn will eat their dinner, before moving on to the main course: the child herself.


Now we see the one country on Earth where kids don’t complain about getting clothes for Christmas.

Question of the night: What’s your favorite dangerous (or not-so-dangerous) cat?

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About AlienMotives 1991 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.