Political Humor – Trick Or Treat, Part Two

The kids have finished off their trip around the DC suburbs and now they’re done for the night… or are they?  It’s only around 6:30 (hey, they’re fast… kids these days often get ferried to the larger areas by watchful parents) and it’s not, as the kids would say, “DARK dark.”

“K Street is the group that saves Halloween,” a child dressed as Mr. Hyde says.  A werewolf girl (multi-faced costumes are popular in the DC area) chimes in, “But we shouldn’t have gone to the Clinton offices, that Epstein guy was eyeing me the entire time.”  She shakes her head at the job application sheet she got… she’d been warned.

“Home?” suggests one eight-year-old, new to the group.  “I think we did okay.”  A tall child, almost eleven laughs.  “No,” hs says.  “Now it’s Embassy Row!”

The kids walk over to their waiting minivans and pile in, directing their parents over to the next set of trick-or-treating stops: the embassies. Once there, they mass their costumed forms together and walk up to the gates, knowing that the experienced guards will have treats waiting.

At the Russian embassy, they are coincidentally given the exact same tiny Butterfingers that the Trump White House gave out.  “Those two are on the same page,” mutters a pyramid-shaped Bill from Gravity Falls.

The German embassy gives out full-sized chocolate bars the kids have never heard of, as do the Swiss, who look at the German bars in the bags and sniff in disdain.  The kids don’t care, although the parents driving them around seem impressed by the brand names.  Whatever happened to Hershey?

The Canadian embassy is giving out brownies. 

The Mexican embassy is giving out bags of Zambos plantain chips, from Honduras.

At the Saudi embassy, the kids balk.  “Okay, that place just looks too creepy for me right now,” says one kid.  Another nods.  “And I just saw their guys go over to the Turkish embassy too… let’s go somewhere else.”

The Hungarian embassy asks each of them where they were born.  As none of them were born in Hungary, none gets any food.

South Africa gives out Poopsies, the new hot toy for Christmas.  The kids swarm about to get their scented slime toys with the unicorn feces figure and the mock-toilet slime holders that the Ambassador himself hands out.  “Remember kids,” he says, “tell your parents that African countries aren’t holes for this type of thing.”

What are some of the things that the kids get at the other embassies?  Japan, Ireland, Belgium, the UK, Brazil, Italy, Australia, Greece, North Korea…?

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About AlienMotives 1991 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.