The initial Shane Awards were announced yesterday, and people were asked for nominees. Some of the categories came in below cutoff, with only one nominee. Best Supporting Actress (for compromising of principles) was thus won by Tomi Lahren, and Best Production Design (for political props, real or imagined) was won by Trump’s wall.
The rest of the awards were decided by open voting throughout the day. The final winners are:
BEST PICTURE (Most meme-worthy image) : Trump and Saudis clutching glowing ball
BEST DIRECTOR (For superior puppetmastery) : Vladimir Putin
BEST ACTOR (and BEST ACTRESS) (For conning people into thinking they have principles) : Lindsey Graham
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (For once having principles, but abandoning them to political expediency) : Mark Levin
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE (For cartoonish public behavior) : Rudy Giuliani
BEST ORIGINAL SONG (For innovative, possibly insane, spin) : Kellyanne Conway
A congratulatory tweet has gone out to all of the winners who have verified accounts on Twitter.
…except the wall, because everyone paying attention knows that Trump’s Wall does not exist.
