TNB Night Owl – Angle Grinder Man

Angle grinder, photo by soulfish

Look! Up in the sky! Or, wait, no, he’s coming down the road. Kind of ambling, really. Not exactly the fastest man alive or the man without fear, but he is a superhero. It’s… Angle Grinder Man!

There have been a few “real life superheroes.” Devoid of any real powers, they tend to act in the way that the Guardian Angels were designed to operate: walking around, doing minor good deeds, being a citizen patrol to discourage casual poor behavior. The main difference is that the superheroes tend to mix some cosplay in, and walk around in costume.

Angle Grinder Man brought a new dimension to real-life superheroics. He did more than merely patrol a neighborhood with charm and a flashy costume. He carried with him.. an angle grinder. With it, he dispensed justice.

AGM was a superhero who patrolled the streets of London in the early 2000s. When he came across someone who’d had their car “booted” – a practice involving clamping the wheel of a car to prevent it from driving away before a fee can be assessed or a tow truck called – for improper parking, his angle grinder would go to work. In less than a minute, the car would be free.

He even had a web site, which allowed people to report booted cars which needed his help.

AGM disappeared a couple of years after he was first encountered. His real name was never officially revealed. Maybe a secret car booting conspiracy got to him. Maybe he was threatened with charges by law enforcement. Or maybe he’s still out there… somewhere… waiting for the day when he will once again pull his angle grinder from the stone and become the rightful boot-destroyer of all England.

Or maybe he just decided to do other stuff with his weekend evenings.

Question of the night: what has been your worst parking experience?

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About AlienMotives 1991 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.