TNB Night Owl – Drop Bears

Koala climbing tree, Photo by David Iliff. License: CC BY-SA 3.0

Halloween’s approaching, and it’s been a while since we visited with some of the legendary monsters from around the world. Most of the time, the creatures from Western nations are variants on ghosts and vampire, but sometimes they can be particularly odd.

Case in point, drop bears.

Drop bears are fairly well defined by their names: they’re bears, and they drop. Specifically, they drop out of trees, aiming unerringly toward people’s heads.

Nobody has ever reported being attacked by a drop bear. There are two reasons presented for that fact. The first is that drop bears do not, in fact, exist. The second, and far more harrowing reason, is that nobody has ever survived an encounter with a drop bear.

That sounds silly, until you consider how well anyone, even the most hardened of special forces veterans, would fare with a claws-rending, muzzle-biting bear landing on their head.

The reason nobody’s seen them is also easily answered: they have, they just don’t recognize them. Drop bears look remarkably like koalas, after all. And the only way you’d know that the cuddly (if sharp-clawed and sometimes fussy) creatures up in those branches was interested in eating people instead of eucalyptus is if it fell on your head and started munching.

How do you avoid a drop bear? Don’t stand under it. The drop bear is instinctively guided toward using the element of surprise as cover for its predatory behavior.

For those who are still (understandably) dubious, here is footage of a drop bear in action, taken on location by an alcoholic beverage company whose logo is a polar bear:

Question of the night: What’s the most memorable thing you’ve ever had dropped on you?

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About AlienMotives 1574 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.