The thing you need to understand about today's Zillow find is that it was built in 2010 in the United States of America. 1/ pic.twitter.com/Rd5JrrsVgr
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
It looks like the part of Disney you aren't supposed to see, like there should be dumpsters of half-consumed turkey legs and a Mickey Mouse holding his own head in his hands, chugging bottled water. 3/ pic.twitter.com/fqRzrFBYND
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
The vibe inside is unexpectedly clock-heavy. Big clocks, little clocks… To remind you of your own mortality, should the moat fail and the Visigoths invade. 5/ pic.twitter.com/8mdaSiYBmp
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
But also! Suits of armor watching you eat! 7/ pic.twitter.com/A4APVPC7Oq
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
But now we get to one of my favorite parts, which took me way too long to identify as the kitchen…
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
9/ pic.twitter.com/u7XKQCp4Kr
To be honest, I kind of like the convenience of the ornate pillar of spices, but I'm also pretty sure these people don't own anything spicier than oregano. 11/
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
Saved my favorite for last.
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
My dude 100% read a book about sitting in the more imposing chair when you negotiate and is now using this to his advantage at bridge night. pic.twitter.com/aEUQAqwufO
It's called Chrismark Castle because… it's owned by Christopher Mark, the great-grandson of a Chicago steel tycoon. (Boostraps!)
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
It took seven years and $4.1 million to build, but went on sale for $45 million, now down to an affordable $35 million.
Then SHE left him, and there was a big court case for more child support.
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
And here's our protagonist, eating dinner alone, too sad even to put food on his plate or light his candle. pic.twitter.com/Yf1W00CjBE
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
During the lawsuit over child support for the girlfriend (he'd been paying $1k a month), both alleged that the other was responsible for the starvation death of a camel.
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
Actually 2 postscripts:
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
1: Sounds like he was the one who unceremoniously dumped the girlfriend, right after she gave birth.
2: @Brekekekiwi did a zoom-in, and I do believe this is the Official Incel Coat of Arms. pic.twitter.com/ISL0fUYBPU
Apparently I CANNOT HELP IT with the further updates. To wit: As several people have pointed out, it was apparently used in this cursed but popular Hallmark xmas movie, being perhaps way cheaper to film at than an actual castle. pic.twitter.com/R2BDAE6diO
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
She had left her husband job for him; he then cut her off, giving the $1k a month for child support. THEN, without having met the baby, he sued for sole custody w the argument that the mother was now too poor to care for her.
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 14, 2022
One last thing, and I really hate to do this to you, but this is from a 2014 Curbed article by Spencer Peterson. Probably get an eye bath ready before you read. pic.twitter.com/gISMTM4Tev
— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) January 15, 2022
