Open Thread — Snark Bites: End of the Week Wrap-up

12 October Carp Tail (second version) Photo by Howard J.

So Thursday and Friday were pretty good days for our side, right? The J6 Committee ended their summer hearing series with a strong finish (and a promise of more to come in September!)

Steve Bannon was found guilty of ignoring Congressional subpoenas (which, hopefully, will encourage the others who’ve been holding out to come in). And seriously… three hours? It took the jury less than three hours to reach their decision. Could there be a more open and shut case? (I accidentally typed “shit” there, and almost left it, because that was pretty funny; but no…)

(I think someone needs to get busy and make some new Steve Bannon gifs. Maybe one where he’s perp walked in an orange jumpsuit? Too on the nose?)

So since things are going so swimmingly on our side, let’s turn our attention to the dumpster fire over on the other side…

Trump had a rally in Arizona last night. And it went about as well as you’d expect…

First up, Blake Masters, who’s running for U.S. Senate, representing AZ. He’s promising he’ll investigate Fauci.

I guess now republicans are going to investigate everyone they don’t like because they don’t like them, not because of some actual wrongdoing…

Next up Kari Lake, who sounds like the stupid younger sister of Sarah Palin. And don’t ask me to pick which one is more stupid, because it seems like it’s a dead heat:

She also thinks she represents all the moms in Arizona:

As a utero-American who is not a mom, I’m glad she doesn’t presume to speak for me…

Trump was an hour-and-a-half late, keeping everyone waiting. So while we waited, they played the funeral march, which, somehow, seems quite fitting. (And bonus question: who composed that song? It was mentioned in a recent OCD Jukebox. What do you mean you didn’t realize there would be pop quizzes from time to time?)

If you guessed Chopin, give yourself a treat of your own choosing.

Once Trump finally arrived, I couldn’t help noticing that it looked like his image was green-screened against the crowd background. I’m not saying it was, it just has a, well… you be the judge:

Right click and select “open in new window” for the full effect.

Also, what’s with his face? I’m not talking about his normal, unnatural orange hue but rather that it looks like a child-sculptor crudely formed it out of clay, then left the head out in the sun to melt.

He starts with gas prices — ignoring they’ve been going down for over a month now — and claims, well, you’ll just have to listen.

Did you know Trump finished his wall? Apparently he did, and we must’ve missed it:

Around this time, he was also telling us what a disaster the border is now that Biden’s in office. So does that mean all the walls Trump built suddenly, somehow don’t work now that a democrat is in the White House?

Hey, it wouldn’t be a Trump rally if he didn’t say nonsensical things.

Keep in mind this is the guy who swore an oath to follow our laws, you know, like due process. So according to Trump, “quick trial” is great and “human rights” are kinda overrated…

I’m not sure getting tips from a country with countless human rights violations on how to handle criminals is the best idea in the world, but maybe that’s just me?

I’m just spitballin’ here, but maybe, if we’re gonna adopt “quick trial” here, it should be for people who, I dunno, incite insurrection against their own government? Or for current or former government officials who think they can simply ignore subpoenas and refuse to be held accountable for their bad and possibly criminal actions?

Most of the speech was his usual boring, lie-infused rants. along with evergreens like how he “saved Merry Christmas.”

This seemed like something new; I don’t recall Trump ever bringing up Don Jr’s meeting with Russians before (or at least not recently). Of course, he was unfairly treated and asked questions for 28 hours.

The lovely and ever helpful Tiff gave me a link to a story Lenny Ghoul wrote back in 2018 for this site when the Russian meeting at Trump Tower news broke.

He spoke for around an hour and forty-five minutes and said very little of any consequence. So, yeah… the usual dumpster fire speech.

That’s it for today, Blenders! This is an open thread, so feel free to discuss whatever you’d like in the comments down below. And remember: whatever bad policies you enact against your enemies might be used against you sometime in the future.

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