There’s a lot of batshittery* to cover today, so let’s get started! (* Shockingly, apparently “batshittery” is an actual word. Who knew?)
Trump ran to his favorite Fox News mouthpiece on Wednesday to get his version of the latest in the MAL search, the Special Master fiasco, and Leticia James going medieval on his ass. And the interview about like you’d imagine…
In the category of “Best Introduction Statement to a Fawning Interview”:
“Best Performance by a Disgraced and Twice-Impeached Former POTUS”:
Among the crazy things Trump said, he claimed yet again (it’s become a regular statement at his rallies) that he actually finished the wall (at least the portion he planned to do) and had started on another section, which Biden could’ve easily finished in three weeks.
His lies are so weird…
Trump was the only nominee in this category and had quite a few contenders for his best bit of batshittery.
He claimed the FBI invaded MAL with AK-47s blazing…
Trump claims FBI agents who came to Mar-a-Lago were armed with "AK-47s or some kind of a very sophisticated gun" (I haven't seen that reported anywhere) pic.twitter.com/RPQykQ3X4E— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 22, 2022
You may recall in last week’s Snark Bites that Hannity asked Trump’s lawyer Alina Habba if they’d release the MAL surveillance video. Well, he asked the same question of Trump, and the Orange Dumbsicle gave the same answer she did. To which Hannity made the same suggestion about blurring the faces of the FBI agents conducting the search.
Hannity: Will you release security cam footage of the search?— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 22, 2022
Trump: I've been asked not to do that
Hannity: You could pixel out their faces
Trump: I guess I could do that pic.twitter.com/EIyFixVq2E
I’m just going to point out here that their faces need to be obscured because Trump’s cultists are so nutso that they’d threaten and harass them should their identities become public. That should maybe give Trump, Hannity, and the RW media some pause to wind up people that unstable, but no…
And then there’s this:
Trump suggests the FBi planted evidence at Mar-a-Lago pic.twitter.com/KYd8Qzbkpv— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 22, 2022
On Thursday, Trump’s Special Master Judge Dearie basically told him and his attorneys to provide evidence that the FBI had planted evidence or shut up with such claims.
I’m guessing Trump is really wishing he hadn’t listened to whoever kept insisting to him that Dearie was the right person to be named his Special Master.
And then there was this gem:
Trump also takes the “Maybe I Should’a Vetted the Guy Before I Endorsed Him” category:
In the “Who, Us?” category:
First, you need to know what was done:
This is how that happened:
That bulge does look suspiciously rectangular in shape…
In “Best Summer Rerun”:
Mike Lindell figured what’s good for Trump (i.e. demanding a Special Master) was good for him, too, even though there’s no reason for a SM. Which the court ruled, about as soon as the motion was filed…
In the “Most Batshit Cray-Cray Conspiracy of the Week” category:
“Best Performance by a Non-Woke, Russian-Stooge Colonel”:
And in the “I’m a Horrible Waste of Flesh” category, here’s Tucker Carlson, who apparently doesn’t think soldiers raping women and children is “state sponsored terrorism.”
In the “Weren’t We on the Other Side of This Issue Just Yesterday?” category:
That’s also known as the “Most Severe Inducer of Whiplash” category…
In the “Maybe We Should Leave History to the Professionals?” category:
And finally, in the “Bad Collagen and Botox Injections Seeped Into Her Brain” category:
Okay, that’s it for tonight. Feel free to discuss whatever you like in the comments below.