TNB Night Owl — Snark Bites Presents Doofus Awards for the Week Ending October 28th

12 October Carp Tail (second version) Photo by Howard J.

It’s that time again!

In the “I was told there would be no math on the final” category, Ted Cruz:

Maybe because cities have lots of people and lots of people means lots more ballots to count than Middle-of-Nowhere County?

This really isn’t hard, Ted. It’s not nefarious. It’s not cheating. But the right has shifted from their “red wave” cheerleading to fearmongering over the lie of another stolen election.

In the “If we didn’t have double standards, we’d have no standards at all” category, Kevin McCarthy:

Hey, here’s an idea: if the GQP would run better candidates, they might not have to worry about beating democrats…

In the “It’s all projection” category, Stephen Miller:

Which party couldn’t find a single reason to impeach Trump, but wants to impeach Biden for any imaginary reason they can devise?

In the “I’m just a conservative whore who says what my male betters tell me to” category, Candace Owens:

Hey, I can throw around the “whore” accusation, too!

In the “Not-so-great campaign messaging” category, the Abbott Campaign:

And yet that wall hasn’t stopped illegal immigrants from crossing into Texas…

In the “They don’t make alpha males like they used to” category, Nick Adams:

Alpha males aren’t afraid of doing verbal battle with women. Just sayin’…

In the “Craziest candidate” category, Tudor Dixon:

How do you guarantee that the future generations necessary to enact your plan will follow through on it?

In the “This is my Candidate Trump impression” category, Kari Lake:

I really dislike her…

In the “I’m just making shit up and hope that the rubes will buy it” category, Josh Hawley:

Joe Biden has probably attended church more during his two years in office than Trump has in his entire life; but, sure. He’s in charge of the godless left bringing down Christian culture. 🙄

In the “I thought Fetterman was the one who couldn’t speak well” category, Marjorie Taylor Greene:

Is a syndincant a syndicate for sycophants?

In the “I don’t have a clue what the significance of Jesus and His teachings is” category, Steve Deace:

On Wednesday, Deace spent his time on Twitter making fun of John Fetterman. Which is totally something Jesus would’ve done, amirite?

In the “What the actual fuck is Tucker Carlson talking about now?” category, Tucker Carlson:

Do we need to have someone give a cognitive examine to Tucker?

In the “What the hell happened to Sarah Palin” category…


In the “Is this real life?” category, the Right Stuff app ad:

Quality, like-minded singles.

In the “Tammy Faye Baker” makeup category, Kayleigh McInneney. (Since she’s no longer the press secretary to POTUS, I can’t give enough of a shit to look up how to spell her name correctly. Sorry, not sorry)

They browned her nose. Did the makeup artist do that intentionally, to make her look worse, or what?

In the “I wonder if the neo-cons who supported Trump and Trumpism are feeling a little concerned?” category, Nick Fuentes:

These people are the worst.

You might want to read the article that goes along with that tweet:

Not everyone on Cozy TV who has made it the cesspool that it is appears welcoming to these newcomers. Kai Schwemmer, a 19-year-old influencer with the white nationalist America First youth movement, lashed out at Ali Alexander Tuesday, claiming that he had heard “credible” accusations that Alexander is a pedophile. (It looks like the right’s obsession with accusing of people of pedophilia applies to their own as well.)

White Nationalist Platform Gains a New Cast of Far-Right Characters, October 26, 2022

In the “Is this the latest bat-crap cray-cray conspiracy or what?” category, Sherri Tenpenny :

It’s been nice knowing y’all…

And, with that, since my time is extremely limited, I’m outta here! Have a great Friday, and a fantastic weekend! And if you haven’t done so already, get out there and VOTE!

P.S. — there’s always a late entry I have to add, and this was too funny:

In case you want to compare this to the original, performed by German singer Diana Damrau:

IIRC, that’s a G two-and-a-half octaves about middle C she’s hitting.

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