I was rooting around in the attic, trying to figure out what we could take with us when President Trump decides to pull all the troops out of Texas and cede the state to the Venezuelan military. In one of the boxes marked “pre-cellphone toys” I found an old Magic 8-ball, a goofy fortune-telling device containing a floating polyhedron suspended in blue fluid and couched within a plastic sphere colored like its namesake billiard ball.
In a moment of nostalgia, I asked a question aloud, shook it, and turned it upside-down. To my astonishment, what floated into view on the tiny plastic screen was not the expected white-on-blue lettering, but rather a little music video.
It didn’t take long (after the moment of stunned amazement) to realize that the song – or at least the title of it – was particularly appropriate to the question I’d asked. Armed with this new oracular device, I posed a few more questions, and I’m reproducing its answers, and sometimes my responses, here.
Q: Is there any truth to charges of Tulsi Gabbard and Jill Stein being Russian puppets?
Q: Huh. So, it looks like Hillary has that much correct. Is it a good idea for her to try to revitalize her political career?
WOW. Um… that was a bit extreme. Certainly not work-safe or child-safe. I admit, I was kind of expecting “Let It Go” from Frozen. But, yes, moving on…
Q: On the matter of political careers, is there any chance Ted Cruz can repair his reputation?
I’m going to take that as a “no”, then… I guess being a sycophant to Trump isn’t the sort of thing people recover from.
Q: Speaking of the President, is there any chance he’s playing some sort of multi-dimensional chess with his foreign policy?
Ouch. Oh, but I didn’t specify northern Syria. I was talking about his foreign policy in gener-
Okay, I get it. He’s a coward.
Dang. Okay, then.
Q: Does Trump have any plans for rallying his base?
Q: Rand Paul has tied himself pretty strongly to President Trump. Does he have a political career after Trump?
Q: Some administration officials did have at least a measure of integrity, and were trying to act as a mitigating influence for some of the worst policy decisions. I’m guessing there are more of them, actual patriots, who are still in lesser positions. Should they stay, knowing they’ll be limited in what they can say in Congress, or go, knowing they are likely to be targeted by Trump’s followers?
Q: Do Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin and Sean Hannity weather their support of Trump, or can they back away successfully after the impeachment?
Q: You’re not painting a rosy scenario for a lot of politicians. What about Justin Amash?
That’s a bit of a relief, I like him.
Q: Just for the record, does President Trump really have respect for his daughter Ivanka?