TNB Night Owl – Meth Squirrel

Eastern grey squirrel, photo by BirdPhotos.com

35 year old Mickey Paulk of Alabama has found the answer to a question nobody sane wanted to ask: What happens if you give methamphetamine to a squirrel?

The answer, apparently, is that it gets mean.

Meet Deeznutz, a wild squirrel kept as a pet by Mr. Paulk. The squirrel was brought to international attention after a story about a routine drug bust in a local paper was noticed and dispersed throughout the web.

A Limestone County man kept a caged “attack squirrel” in his apartment and fed the animal methamphetamine to ensure it stayed aggressive, an official said.

Following information in the story reveale

Narcotics investigators also seized meth, drug paraphernalia, ammunition and body armor.

Alabama News Courier

Following information in the story revealed other seizures in the raid: meth, drug paraphernalia, ammunition and body armor. But those types of things are fairly routine. An attack squirrel, outside of Marvel Comics and their Squirrel Girl character (who would never, ever feed one of her squirrel friends meth), is anything but routine.

The police had been tipped off about the squirrel before the raid, as Paulk had reportedly trained it to attack people.

The police found Deeznutz, but they did not find Paulk until days later.

Paulk later spoke to the Associated Press, who reported that he declared “he had the squirrel since it was a baby and would never give it drugs.” He is now being charged with a state wildlife offense on top of the many other crimes, as it is against the law in Alabama to own a pet squirrel.

The squirrel was recognized as abnormally aggressive at the time of the police raid, but there was no way of safely testing the creature for meth usage, so it was released into the wild.

Question of the night: What’s the craziest pet you’ve owned?

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About AlienMotives 1059 Articles
Ex-Navy Reactor Operator turned bookseller. Father of an amazing girl and husband to an amazing wife. Tired of willful political blindness, but never tired of politics. Hopeful for the future.